When Upon Life's Billows

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost
Count your many blessings name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Last weekend we had the opportunity to visit with some friends that we haven't seen in many years. It was wonderful to have them in our home. Our days and nights used to be spent with them in the early years of our marriage.

We reminisced about the good ol' days. We laughed, and our children played as if they were long lost friends. Life doesn't get much better, really.

During their visit, I was brought to the realization of my blessings. I often think that we are just an ordinary family, in an ordinary house. Nothing about my life has ever felt lavish, or over the top. We work hard, and we do the best we know how with what we are given.

I have since realized that I am a very blessed person.

Here are some of my blessings, my most prized possessions.

I have a husband who loves me.

I have amazing kids

I live in one of the most beautiful areas on earth. Who needs therapy when the mountains summon your name.

I am fortunate to experience peace in my home.

I Thank God today for all that I have.

The Measurement of Time

For quite some time I have been somewhat fascinated with the measurement of time. When I run, I want to be faster. When I bike, I don't so much as think of speed, but rather, can I be back in time for "X", whatever "X" is.

Then there is the measurement of time in a day, and can I possibly fit everything in.

Then time is measured by months, and years.

When the unthinkable happens (death), time stands still.

It is often thought that life would be better if you could turn back time. Perhaps, just a day. If only I could turn the clock back one day, I'm sure I would have no regrets. Right?

When someone you love dies, that day becomes a marker of time. Everything is measured in the time before and after death.

This fascination with time has turned my thoughts yet again to my sister, Azure. I now measure time in the before and after of her death. It is an interesting thing to do, I know, but it happens. I've wondered why everything is thought of as "before Azure died..." or "two weeks after Azure died..." etc.

Strange, I know.

I've come to the realization that the world's measurement of time is based on the life of Christ. Before the Savior of the world was born, time is measure in BC. After his birth, time is measured in AD. What an interesting concept to parallel the life and death of someone I knew personally, and love dearly.

It's the before and after in the measurement of time.

Chocolate

Tonight is a chocolate night. I only had three pieces left from the wonderful authentic chocolate from England.

Now I only have one piece left.

I will have to save it for a special day. It is strawberry filled, so I doubt that anyone will want it.

Fall is in the air here. The leaves on the trees are beginning to show their color. I can look out the window and see the mountain in its beauty.

I love this time of year. It takes me back to something that I seem to be doing a lot of lately.

Reflection.

It was this time of year two years ago that a dear friend took his life.

It was this time of year two years ago that my sister went to heaven. I often wonder how close their spirits are to me. They are close. I know that, but how often are they allowed the time to comfort, or perhaps protect?

Yesterday I was on my bike. I was just over a mile away from my house. The wind was ferocious. So much that I thought that maybe I should just turn around. I knew I had to get my mileage in though so I continued down the hill.

As I passed through the stop sign and on to the straight away, I thought of my sister, how I miss her so. I had a little prayer in my heart that she could accompany me on my ride.

The road to turn onto is not far from the hill that I had just descended and I had the thought that I should probably take it wide, just in case there was a car coming. I did just that, and as I looked up, there was a large Ford truck heading straight at me. There wasn't much I could do but swerve and say a quick prayer in my heart. With about 5 feet to spare, the man looked up from his cell phone, and swerved to miss me.

For the next 1/2 mile I cried. I wondered what exactly had happened there. Was my prayer heard? Did I have a guardian angel, perhaps my sister, along side me to protect me from the danger that I had just encountered?

Or

Was it just the grace of a loving God that had protected me? I surely would have died, or if not died, I would have been seriously injured. There was no way I could compete with the vehicle in my lane.

So, I shed tears of gratitude - Gratitude that I was still alive. Tears of hope, that maybe I was allowed a visit from someone I long to see. Maybe it is wishful thinking.

Maybe I just need more chocolate.

The Cool Kids Club

Last year Brett and I trained for the Salem Triathlon. They had changed the bike course back to the original bike course that took you up Payson Canyon to Kiwanis Park, and then back again into Salem to start the run.

We would ride out and back and I thought I was amazing, riding up those hills. I mentioned once to a neighbor that we had ridden up Payson Canyon and he asked me if we had ridden the switchbacks. I told him "No" and he kind or shrugged his shoulders. I remember thinking - What a jerk. I rode up Payson Canyon, I should be part of the Cool Kids Club.

Well, this week, I proved that I was not amazing last year. I needed to get 47 miles in for my long ride. It was my intention to ride 23 up and then come back and ride an easy mile back on the flats. Well, 2 hours and 15 minutes into my ride, I was 21 miles up, I had reached 7,000 feet and I was still climbing. I knew I had to be back at the house because it was "Grandparent's Day" at school and I thought Sydney was going to be checked out early so I needed to be home just in case. I was climbing at a mere 5MPH, and another 2 miles would take me forever. I was afraid that if I continued, I would be on the bike for 4 hours and miss my in-laws.

So, I turned around and flew down the mountain. My hands were killing me from gripping the handlebars and the breaks for 8 miles. What took me an hour and a half to climb, only took me 1/2 hour to descend. (I should have gone the extra 2 miles up).

I have now inducted myself into "The Cool Kid's Club". Thank you very much.

And just to put this all in to perspective, a few weeks ago, Brett and I had traveled up Payson Canyon, by car, to watch the Tour of Utah, a professional bicycle race. We misjudged the timing of these men and we missed them all. They rode 77 miles in just over 3 hours, and I only rode 42 in the same amount of time. Thus, my induction into the 'KID'S' club, not the 'MEN'S' club.

*Brett followed suit on Saturday. He rode a little farther than I did. I tease him that he was just trying to one-up me. He disagrees. Nevertheless, I'm proud of him.

Give 'Em 5

As many know, our son Ryan was born with a rare disease called Severe Combined Immunodeficiency Syndrome (SCIDS), otherwise known as the bubble-boy disease. This condition is often misdiagnosed, and many children aren't properly diagnosed until they are extremely sick, or as it is often the case, it is too late.

Well, a dear mother of a child born with this disease, has set up a foundation called SCID Angels for Life. Her first son passed away from SCIDS, and her second son, now 14 is doing well after an in-utero transplant. The money that is donated to this foundation goes towards research, newborn screening, and educational support for parents and families.

When Ryan was a baby, we were told many times that we could not be helped because he didn't have cancer. Well, the treatment for this disease is a Bone Marrow Transplant, and is the same as a cancer patient. We were told at one point that if we could get a doctor to say that Ryan had a form of cancer, our world would be opened up to much more support. Thankfully, we had amazing insurance at the time, and it was all covered.

So, what does this have to do with you, my blog reader?

Well, Tim Schwarz, a father of a little guy with SCIDS, has pledged to run the Chicago Marathon on October 11th. His goal is to raise $5,000 for the SCID Angels for Life foundation. You can help by pledging your $5, or more if you have it, at this link HERE Click on the Events Page on the left hand side and pledge what you can. If you have $5, it would be appreciated. If you have more to give, you will be helping families who have very few options. Every little bit helps.

Thank you, and God Bless you for your donation.

Ask a Stupid Question

I've been know to ask stupid questions in my lifetime.

My mom used to answer this "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

Well, what do you know - there is an "Ask a Stupid Question" DAY!

and

It just so happens to be on my birthday - September 28th.

Therefore, I am entitled I say.

Becoming 'One' with the Bike

Since my quest has begun to ride 100 miles on my bike, I have really tried hard to learn as much as I can about my bike. I need to be able to fix it should I have a problem while I'm out on the road.

I've had a few experiences the past few days that have helped me realize that I still have a lot to learn.

First and foremost, don't ever clip your foot in the pedal and try to balance, showing your husband where your foot is when fully extended. Why, you ask? Well, it is extremely hard to clip back out, and you might just fall, while not moving, and bruise your knee, scuff up your arm, and hit your head on the nearest tree. Embarrassing.

Second, when you are getting multiple flat tires, have a second set of eyes look at your tires. Going through multiple tubes, and patching them all, only for them to go flat again during the next ride, is probably caused by a thorn that you don't see with your own eyes. (Don't worry, I now have new tires, and hopefully many miles will pass away flat free.)

Third, don't think that for a second, you will be able to leave the house as soon as the kids leave for school. It's great in theory, but anything that can go wrong will. This morning after two flat tires, a dropped chain, and I can't remember what else, I was finally able to get out of the house by 10am.

So, for now I am not 'One' with my bike.

However.

Each day is a new day, and thanks to the fact that I know people might be looking to see if I have ridden that day, I am getting out, and hopefully 8 weeks from now I will be stronger mentally and physically and a flat tire won't make me want to swear.

Accountability

Since I made the announcement that I am riding a Century bike ride in October, I have been keeping track of my rides - Mileage and Time - in a spreadsheet that Brett sent me.

I can tell which rides were harder. For example, last week I rode 34 miles in 2 hours and 18 minutes, and this week I rode 40 miles in 2 hours 29 minutes. Obviously the ride this week was easier, thus my better time. I didn't climb the mountain this week on my longer ride.

Anyway, back to the accountability....I have posted a link to the spreadsheet on the side of my blog. Feel free to check in from time to time and keep me honest.

Today has been laced with frustrations. Flat Tire - Second Flat Tire in ONE week I might add!

I've ordered new Puncture Resistant tires. I hope they come soon. Of course the tire patch kit is on the back of Brett's bike, and his bike is at work with him. So, I will have to go and buy a patch kit and maybe, just maybe I might get my ride in today.

Gratitude and More

Today I was brought to my knees in gratitude. I don't know if I will ever know why the Lord has blessed me so much, but He has.

I received an e-mail from a family who had a baby with SCIDS, the same disease that Ryan was born with. He lost his battle last week. Stacey, his mother shared a video with our small group of families that are experiencing, or have experienced this disease first hand.

As I watched the video, the memories flooded my mind. I remember Ryan looking like that. I remember his cries, his face looked the same as baby Liam's.

And then, I was brought to reality. I still have my son. He has been healed. Miracles have happened in my life, and I will forever be grateful.

I am trying to rise to the occasion and teach him. Whatever his purpose in life, I hope I am able to aid him in fulfilling it. This is one of my greatest wishes.

Gratitude and so much MORE

Tour de St George

Yesterday Brett sent me a text and asked me if I was up to riding a Century Ride in October. It is something we both have wanted to do for a while.

Last year we rode just over 50 miles while in AZ, so I'm pretty sure I can ride the course. I just hadn't ridden in a while. Well, I agreed, so that meant I needed to get back on the bike. I took to the road and rode just over 13 miles.

Today I went out and rode close to the same distance. I love that I can just get on the bike and go, and go, and go. The mental game isn't quite like it is when you are running. You can't really stop, unless you get off your bike, and that's embarrassing.

So, on October17th, I will ride the Tour de St. George. It will likely take me all day, but I will finish, and I can cross that off the bucket list, and maybe if I like it, I'll add it back to the list and cross it off again.

Love

Today after school, Sydney camped out on my bed with me.

She told me all about school, who she played with, what she learned.

She went with me to pick up some wheat.

She helped me make some bread.

She went to the grocery store with me.

We made up silly songs and sang at the top of our lungs.

Then, as I tucked her in to bed, she told me she didn't want to go to school tomorrow. She wanted to stay home and have lunch with me.

Warms my heart a little bit.

It's Love.

Open Mouth...Insert Foot?

Tonight I was at Albertson's shopping. I had my Vibram shoes on. I can't go anywhere without comments about them. Well, tonight was no different.

Here I am, at the checkout when a man wheels himself up behind me. He asked if my shoes were comfortable. I said, Yes, except for when I walk on them all day, then they're not so comfortable...as I look down and realize that I am talking to a man who can't walk.

Way to go Deni. Next time I will try to just say YES.

Freedom?

The kids started school today. I enjoyed the silence, but I missed them. My newfound "freedom" consisted of riding my bike (I think I might ride in a Century Bike ride this fall), Primary Presidency meeting, lunch with friends, and cleaning the kitchen and living room.

Ryan is in 4th Grade!! Where did all of the time go?

Sydney is in 1st Grade

They had a great 1st day. I hope they continue to have fun.

The Reunion

Tuesday Night the kids and I went to the airport in SLC to pick up Brett. Delta Airlines has a great web site that allows you to track flights, and we saw that it was coming in 1/2 hour earlier than it was scheduled to come in. We hurried and got in the van and off we went.

As I pulled into the parking garage, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I felt like a little kid who couldn't wait for my birthday gifts. We entered the airport and Brett called and said they had landed. He asked where we were and I told him we were on the way. I didn't want him to know that we were there already. (He said he figured we were there though because I didn't tell him 'exactly' where we were).

The kids had made signs to welcome him home. Ryan wanted his to be simple, so he drew a yellow jersey, and had me draw a bike. Stupid me, I didn't take pictures of the event.

Ryan spotted Brett far before I did. I'm not sure what I was looking for, but both kids were jumping up and down telling me that they saw Brett on the escalator. I finally caught his eye about two steps before it hit the ground.

Brett hugged the kids and then hugged me. I didn't want to let go. Two weeks is a long time. TOO LONG!

The time away has caused me to reflect a lot on a lot of things.

First of all, I am SO grateful for my relationship with my husband. He is my friend, my confidant, my everything. My nights are not the same without him here. We are a partnership, an equal partnership. Sure, we have disagreements, but they have never been so bad that we couldn't get through it together.

I thought a lot about my brother-in-law Brian. While, I don't want to discount the relationship he has with his wife Ginger, I know he loves her, I thought of how hard it must be not to be able to talk to Azure. I know that I want to talk to her, but she wasn't my wife.

I talked to Brett every day while he was away. I am forever grateful for my iPhone. It is one of the best purchases we have made. Not only did I not get lost in Phoenix because of the GPS on it (that's a huge deal...just ask Brett), I was able to talk to him for FREE EVERY day thanks to Skype, and Vonage. I feel so blessed.

I am grateful that my reunion was only based on a 2 week stay away from the man I love. My heart hurts for those who will have to wait many more weeks, and even years to see those they love. I can only imagine the joy we will feel when the reunion comes. It will be heaven.

Black Canyon Lake

As a kid, I enjoyed going to Black Canyon Lake. It is only 13 miles or so from my mom's house. I really can't believe I didn't bike there, but I didn't.

I thought it would be fun to take the kids, so we took off one afternoon and let them swim in the water. I hadn't been up there since the forest fire had come through several years ago. I was surprised at the devastation. All of the dead trees were once beautiful pines.

Arizona, Week TWO

On Sunday we traveled up the mountain to my mom's house. We were happy to get out of the heat and just relax in the beautiful mountains. I often forget how beautiful it is where I grew up. I don't want to live there full time, but I do enjoy the occasional visit that we are able to make.

One of the reasons I didn't go to Europe with Brett was because I wanted to spend time with my family, more specifically my Grandma Bowers. She is getting up there in age, and we don't know how much longer she'll be around. She has a special place in my heart. I am so glad I was able to spend time with her.


I was able to run while at my mom's. I learned that 7am isn't early enough to get started as the sun is right on top of you at that time and it is hot. So, I started a little earlier the next time around.

Growing up I knew everyone in that small little town, but I quickly realized while I was out running, that I no longer knew anyone that passed by. A lot changes when you are away.

A Day or Two at Jessica's

On Friday, we went to Jessica's house. Kamden, her new baby was just a week old, and he is SO sweet. We really enjoyed being at her house. Ryan enjoyed playing Guitar Hero, and some car game, that had terrible cars that didn't maneuver well. At least that's what he said :).

We met Kati and Boston at the mall on Saturday for lunch. It was nice to see them again. After lunch we went to the Farmer's Market. I wish we had prices on produce at home that they had there. I paid 33 cents a lb for cherries.

I took the kids to Texas Roadhouse on Saturday night. Jessica was having dinner brought in so I didn't want to be in the way. Plus, I was able to see my brother Ben one last time as he is a server there.

Since Sydney's birthday was just a few days before, Ben had her sit on the 'Birthday' Saddle.
We all have her a big Birthday 'Yee Haw'.

We also got balloon animals for the kids. The man doing them was amazing. All around you could see incredible creations. One man had a hat that had a woman holding a microphone. My brother called it a stripper. Maybe she was...don't know. Anyway, whatever she was, she was amazing.

Sydney chose a butterfly, and Ryan chose a praying mantis.

By the way, the food there was amazing.

Beatin' the Heat

Sorry - no pictures...

On Wednesday we went to Queen Creek to spend time with Lori and Jessica. The kids were so excited as Lori has a pool in her back yard.

Since it was late when we got to Lori's, and a storm was coming in, we didn't let them swim. Ryan could hardly stand himself. He slept in Tucker's room, and as Lori was helping him to bed, he asked if he could swim in the morning. She laughed and told him yes.

Thursday morning came and both of my kids were up by 7am. We got them breakfast, and they were in the pool. They stayed in the pool all day. I made sandwiches at noon, by the pool. Ryan was so hungry that he ate TWO. I was SUCH a good mom that day, that I didn't get them a drink ALL day. It didn't even cross my mind to have them drinking.

Sydney ended up in the house by late afternoon, and she had a fever and chills, and her eyes were bright red by night. I felt terrible.

Happy Birthday Syd

For Sydney's birthday we had all of the family over to Kati's house for dinner. My brother Ben wasn't able to come, so the kids and I met him for lunch. We also met my mom and dad there too. It was a nice lunch together.

Ben also came with us to several stores. I looked and looked for a pinata. I couldn't find one that was less than $15. I am cheap, so I did what cheap people do. I bought a $2 gift bag and filled it with candy. I then wrapped it in packing tape and secured the edges with duct tape.

I got laughed at for my invention, but you know - the kids loved beating the heck out of the bag, and I think it lasted longer than a regular pinata. Plus, I saved $13 in the process. Go me. I don't have pictures of it, just video, and I don't know how to upload that, so you will all just have to visualize.

Kati made Sydney's cake. It turned out very cute.

I had someone take pictures, and this is literally one of the best ones. In the pic - Tre', Boston, Kati, Taya and Sydney

Taya and Syd had matching pajamas...too fun.

I can't believe my baby is 6!

A few things I love about her:

- She loves to dance. When music comes on, she can't contain herself. Her little body just moves.
- She loves singing.
- She loves helping me in the kitchen.
- She is very tender, and is very considerate. (She gets that from me - he he)
- She loves babies. She's going to be a great mother.
- She is a great sister, even though she LOVES to tease her brother. (She gets that from her dad)

Happy Birthday Sydney. We sure love you.

Are we there yet?

Today Brett took flight in the friendly skies and landed in Bristol, England. He is there for 2 weeks, so I decided that I didn't need to stay home with the kids by myself all that time.

What's a girl to do you ask? Well, I went home.

Today was a VERY long day. We took Brett to Salt Lake City to the airport, then we traveled to Phoenix where we stayed with my baby sister Kati. We ended up leaving the house (after the airport) at 10:30 am, and let me tell you - I don't want to ever do that again. Sydney asked me a bazillion times how long it was going to take us, and Ryan kept asking if I would just set a timer. Well, if I knew exactly how long it was from my house to Phoenix, I would have brought a timer. But I didn't. The way I time things on road trips is like this -

Kids: Mom, how much longer?
Me: 2 more movies - pick some good ones.

Winds of Change

For several years now we have been given Lagoon tickets, courtesy of Novell. To be honest, I'm not sure how many years we have gone, but this I do know - my life is changing.

We started going to Lagoon with diaper bag in hand, pushing a stroller, having to work around nap time, etc.

Yesterday I took the kids and our stay was MUCH different. We got there shortly after they opened at 11am, and left at 10pm last night. The kids had a blast!



Since Brett is at scout camp, we had an extra ticket. We decided to take our friend Evan. I am always amazed at how well Evan and Ryan get along. When Ryan was in the hospital going through chemotherapy, Evan's parents, our friends, Ben and Emily, shaved his head since Ryan was going to lose his hair. I'm not sure if this is what started the bond between these two, but I hope it last for a lifetime. Since we shaved Ryan's hair into a Mohawk for the summer, Ben shaved Evan's hair for this trip. I think they both love their hair.



Thank heaven we had Evan. The kids aren't quite as daring as he is, so they went on several rides that they probably wouldn't have gone on otherwise.



Speaking of rides they wouldn't have gone on, this one makes me laugh so hard.


I wouldn't go on it because I didn't want to puke, so I let them all go together. Ryan's wasn't quite sure of the ride once he got to the front of the line, but I assured him it would be ok. Well, a few minutes into the ride I got a little closer and Sydney caught my eye. She immediately started crying and telling me that she wanted off. I just started to laugh because when I was a teenager, I was on a ride called the Octopus. We got a little way into the ride and my sister Lori said "What if they stop us and we can't get down." Well, just then they stopped the ride. I started screaming, and continued to scream asking to be let off all the while the man operating the thing, along with my mom and sister, were laughing their heads off. I knew that it would be a while before Sydney would be able to get off.

Ryan was officially scared to death and so was Sydney. Ryan wanted the guy to lock his thing into position so that he didn't spin.

Not spinning would have been fine if it was similar to the ferris wheel that was at California Adventure. It wasn' t the same though, and Ryan got stuck in this position:

UPSIDE DOWN - for about 5 minutes - NO LIE

I took a picture of Sydney when she got off the ride...I'm pretty sure this is what I looked like. I got a nice slap on the arm from her, and she landed herself in Time Out, but that's beside the point.



After the drama was over, we rode a few more rides and saw these little guys inside Lagoon A Beach. I'm just glad they waited to come out AFTER we spent 3 hours in there! Beautiful, yet creepy animals.

Not the Same

Yesterday Brett left for scout camp.

He will be gone all week.

Our lives are not the same without him.

Life's Stories

CBS has a program where one of their news men opens up a phone book and points to a person. He then calls that person and gets to know them and tells their story on the air.

I have been thinking a lot about how everyone has a story. Experiences that are had during your early years very often shape the person you become. Sometimes your experiences drive you to change and overcome challenges in your life. Other times you might just succumb to those challenges and your path becomes a long winding road.

I often wonder what it is that I am supposed to learn through the experiences I have. More than this, I wonder who it is that I am supposed to touch through the lessons I have learned in life. Am I doing the right things? Do I reach out to those around me who could benefit from my life? Am I actually learning something and applying these lessons to my life, and shaping my very own character?

I have a story. Many details remain inside my own thoughts and return through memories.

Good

and

Bad.


It is easier that way.

Less judgment.

More empathy.

Tour de Donut

This year Brett rode in the Tour de Donut in American Fork. The race is a 'roughly' 21 mile course, consisting of 3 - 7 mile loops. The idea is that you ride a loop, eat as many donuts as you can, ride another loop, eat again, then finish strong. For every donut you eat, you get 3 minutes taken off of your time. Brett ended up eating 2 and 3/4 donuts (the 3/4th donut had a hair in it...mmm).

Before the Race

First Lap

Out for the 3rd Lap - riding with a friend from work

The man who won, ate 28 donuts!! SICK!! I had to take a picture of him because I've never seen anything like it.

While it sounds disgusting, and it actually can be, this was a very fun event, and one the whole family can enjoy.

Stadium of Fire

After a great day relaxing at the Berger's house, we took the kids to BYU to watch the fireworks outside of the Stadium of Fire. The performers this year were SheDaisy, and the Jonas Brothers, among other local dancers, etc.

We loaded our bikes onto the van and parked by the law building at BYU. As we were taking the bikes off of the van 4 Air Force jets flew by. We thought they would fly by at 8pm so we hung out at Brett's parents for a while so we could see them, but they didn't come so we went ahead and went on to Provo.

We took our blanket, and backpack with snacks, and rode to the stadium to find a seat on the lawn. We weren't there 10 minutes and a couple of women walked in front of us handing out tickets. One of the women said she was looking for a group of 4. I raised my hand and she walked over and handed me 4 tickets to get inside.

The kids were THRILLED!

We didn't plan on going inside, so everything we had with us had to be taken back to the car. Brett took a ticket, and our stuff, and I took the kids inside to find our seats. It took us several minutes to find our seats as the man in orange hadn't a clue where we needed to be. I finally found another woman that knew the stadium better and we found our seats. Once we got settled the man next to me told me that I would have to move. I asked him why and he said that I was in someone's seat that had gone to the restroom. I told him that my ticket said that I was supposed to be there and he said - well, then I guess they will have to move. Shortly after, the young men came back and they were a little peeved that we had showed up.

We enjoyed the rest of the show listening to the Jonas Brothers, and then seeing a spectacular firework display. We didn't have our camera with us, so I'm going to steal pictures off of a friend's blog (Thanks Keith :)



After part of the fireworks were displayed, we were able to participate in a ceremony that retired this flag. It was a very emotional ceremony, and I am very proud to be an American. So many have fought for our freedoms and I am so grateful. We have a friend that serves in the Army and he was able to help carry the flag in.


Once the flag was brought into the stadium, it was laid in this cauldron and burned. Sydney was so concerned that the flag was being burned. She worried that if the flag was being burned, then we wouldn't live in America anymore. She shed a few tears, and it really made me think about how important it is to recognize all that we have.


I am grateful to the woman that gave us those tickets. It made the kids' night and we had an unforgettable experience.

One Mile and Counting.

Ryan ran his 1st One Mile race on Saturday. I was SO proud of him. He will be 9 in August and I was thrilled that he had the desire to run at such a young age.



The course was not marked well and there were people running all over the place. Towards the end I could tell that Ryan was getting tired so I joined him for a few minutes.


Ryan finished the race in 11 minutes 30 seconds. He says that this isn't his last race. I will be supporting him in his next one too.

Life Isn't Fair

Sydney is at the stage where everything has to be fair. If I spend 2 minutes with Ryan, I am supposed to spend 2 minutes with her. She is getting quite technical with all of this 'fair' stuff.

For example, the other night we were driving to eat and we came to a red light. She made the comment that it wasn't fair that birds could fly right through red lights and we had to stop.

Last night we were camping and it was raining. We were sitting in the van waiting for the rain to let up so we could put up our tent and she said "It's not fair, trees don't have heads, so it doesn't matter if they get wet."

True my little duckling, true.

Utter and Complete Awesomeness

Last year in October, I committed to run in the Ragnar Relay with my cousins. I'll be honest, I did very little to prepare compared to the rest of my team, (I guess I feel that since I wasn't running as much as they were, I didn't do as much, but I did cross train so I suppose I should count that...) anyway, I was committed, and once I commit, I'm in.

Well, after a lot of negative on my part (I was scared, nervous, all of it), I caught a ride on the van at 10am on Friday to head to Paradise, UT to meet up with the rest of our team. I had never been to Paradise, UT and my nerves were absolutely out of control.

We arrived in Paradise, and sat around waiting for our runner, and the support vehicle to arrive at the next exchange. There were many teams waiting for their runners, and every team has a story. It was fun to write on the windows of our van, and just mingle. I think I liked the 3 visits to the port-a-potties the best.

Once our runner arrived, we picked up our race numbers and we were off to the first major exchange that I was going to be in. I was runner 7, the first runner in van 2 to run, and our projected time for me to start was 5:06pm. We were very close to that projected time so right at 5pm I went and stood in line in the 'shoot'. Looking back at that word I look like a cow, but hey - their words, not mine.

I received the hand off and off I went. I felt like my speed was ok, but it was hot VERY hot. Not too long into the run I started getting a side cramp, so I stopped for a time and walked to breathe it out. I was so determined to get a decent time that I started right back up running as hard as I knew how, still keeping a pace that wouldn't completely kill me before I passed the slap-on baton bracelet. I had told my van to go to the end as I didn't want them to see me at a turtle's pace (it's embarrassing).

At one mile left to go, our van pulled up along side and said good job and they would see me at the end. Those one mile to go markers are a little piece of heaven and hell. Heaven because you are almost done, and hell because it takes longer to get through that mile than it does getting through the rest of them.

I finished my 4 miles in 33 minutes and 50 seconds. Hardly the turtle that I had thought. I projected my runs to average a 9 minute mile, so coming in under that was a pleasant surprise.


In looking at the above image, it looks like I run downhill...it sure didn't feel anything down...just everything HOT.

After I passed off to my teammate Kandice, I jumped in the van, drank a lot of water, a recovery drink, and ate a banana and an orange, and we cheered the rest our team. We ladies were kickin' some butt. The highlight for me was seeing my friends Tami and Alison run. Don't get me wrong, I was proud to be a part of the other ladies' runs, but when you actually know someone, it is a little more personal. Tami ran her first run in a 7:49 mile, and Alison ran up a massive hill and kicked some major booty, passing all kinds of people and getting some serious stares from the men that she left on the road to rot. It was exhilarating. Melissa finished off our van topping another crappy hill and she passed people like they were standing still. I'm telling ya, we were kicking some butt.

Once we passed off again to Van 1, we were able to go to Kandice's house. Her house happened to be right by the route, and it was so nice of her to let us all shower there, and relax for our evening runs.

My second run began just after 1am. I don't know why I thought that all of my runs were flat, but my second run began as a slight incline, I went down about a 1/4 mile downhill slope, and then I climbed the rest of the way. The air was chilly, and it felt wonderful. My goal was to not stop, and that is just what I did. I was able to run 3.9 miles in 40 minutes, mostly uphill. I was actually pleased that I wasn't slower. I had anticipated a 12 minute mile going up that hill, so I was again pleasantly surprised...see the picture below.


After my hand off, I relaxed in the van and cheered our teammates on. My next scheduled run was at 10:30am, so I had hoped I would be able to get a little shut eye...I have since learned however that shut eye is only a figment of the imagination on this type of event.

At just after 5am, we lost a runner to dehydration. We had a scary hour and a half or so, making sure she was ok and didn't need to be rushed to the hospital. That's when my schedule changed. We knew that our runner wouldn't be able to run again. So, we all made changes to our legs. My cousin Sarah took on my leg, as she was the one who was going to hand off to me, and I took the last leg of our lost runner.

I think the interesting thing about this leg, is that for a few weeks, I had the impression that I was going to run the Ragnar leg. We had lost some runners earlier on, and I offered to take that leg, but we always found someone. In training I went with a friend up the Spanish Fork Reservoir hill, which is .8 miles up and very steep. She ran the hill twice in preparation for her Ragnar leg, and I ran it one and a half times. I also ran another hill that was 3.4 miles of gradual incline. Thanks to my friends who took me to these places, I actually made it through one of the hardest legs of this race.


I jogged the first mile and a half of the leg and then I ran walked the rest of the way. It was actually more like a walk, run as the hills were so steep and there were a billion switch backs. I couldn't decide whether I should just look down the whole time so I didn't know what I was up against, or to look up so I knew what to expect. I couldn't help but look up, and it absolutely sucked, I'm not going to lie. My legs were on fire. I would get to the top of a switch back and think I should run, but my mind didn't want to make the switch. I had a really nice man come up to me with about 1.5 miles to go and he paced me for a while. He was doing the leg just for 'fun'. He said his teammate was up ahead of him, but he wanted to say that he had done Ragnar....something I probably would have done, but at the moment thought he was an idiot for doing.

It took me 1 hour and 15 minutes to make it the 4 miles. Easily the slowest leg of the race, but I finished and I conquered the RAGNAR. I was exhausted, I hadn't had sleep in over 24 hours, and I felt AWESOME! I did it! Again it was amazing to watch Alison climb and descend some of the most horrible hills. She ran 7 miles in less than an hour. Absolutely incredible. I aspire to be a competitor one day, just like she is.

We finished the race in 27 hours and 49 minutes. We took 8th place in the over all women's, and 5th place in the Women's Open division. I may not have done as well as I had liked on Ragnar hill, but I was a part of an amazing team, and hopefully I'll be tired again this time next year.

Love at Home

With summer in full swing, we have hardly seen the kids getting along like I would like them to.

I actually see the future here. - I'll take you there...

Brett will retire, he will be with me all day every day, and we will drive each other crazy.

...That's what's happening with the kids. They are with each other all day every day and they each have taken it upon themselves to be the parent. They're driving each other crazy.

Well, I had had enough, so I decided to do a little searching. I found an activity in the Friend Magazine that sad that you sit in a circle with your family and sing "Love at Home" while passing around an object. Each time you get to the word 'love', the game stops and the person holding the object has to say something nice about someone in the family. With only 4 people in our family, we all got plenty of opportunities to tell each family member what we love about them.

It was a great activity, and the kids wanted to play again. We had them laughing and I think they really thought about each other.

Life is too short - we need Love at Home.

Long Day ...but Worth Every Minute

Today I took Ryan to Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City. The weather was very WET as we traveled the road this morning. I had Ryan say a prayer that we would make it there safely. We got to a point that we were traveling at 45 MPH because there was so much standing water on the freeway and the rain was continuing to pour.

As we entered PCMC, we were given directions to a Child Psychologist's office. We went there and they had moved, so we finally made it to where we needed to be at 9:15 (We were supposed to be there at 9am). I was introduced to the Psychologist and he took us back to his office. He told me he would need Ryan for about 4 hours, and I asked if I could leave. He said yes, so I went downstairs to visit someone in the PICU.

After visiting, I made my way back to the 4th floor and asked if I could go back to Ryan's evaluation and they told me they didn't want to interrupt, so I sat and waited, and waited, and waited. At about 1:15pm Ryan and the Dr came and found me. I was given such great information about Ryan.

Please allow myself to brag a bit...

Ryan has just finished the 3rd grade, and he is at an 8-9th grade reading level, and a 5-6th grade math level. The Dr said that normally children who are smart like Ryan are nerdy, but that Ryan was well rounded. I got a good laugh out of that. (On the way home Ryan told me he was glad he was not nerdy and liked being 'round')

I am proud of Ryan and his accomplishments. He works hard in school and he loves learning. I'm not sure where he gets it, but I'll take it.

We also got to see our friends Jill and Emily Heaps. They were there for clinic and we were so happy to meet up with them again.

After the update on Ryan's results, we went to the cafeteria and had lunch with some of the people we know who are up there with their child. I was surprised to see them there, but happy we were able to visit a little bit.

After lunch, we were back up to the 4th floor for the long term Bone Marrow follow-up. Ryan's counts are fantastic. He is still 100% donor (SUCH A MIRACLE), and everything has checked out just fine.

We are so lucky to have Ryan in our lives. He is a sweet boy, and very sensitive to others. I was told by Dr Weinberg this morning that since Ryan is 100% donor 8 years post transplant, that we have a 99+% chance of him staying that way through life.

Miracles are happing every day!