Sacred Trials

While at Women's conference in April,  I wrote down a few notes that could lead to a blog post or two. It has taken me a while to pull my thoughts together enough to jot them down here.

One of the things that Sister Dalton spoke of was that of 'Sacred Trials'. That phrase rang true to me. I have had sacred trials. In the darkness of those trials, sometimes the light seems ever distant. Then as I emerge from that darkness and see the light of day, the sacredness of the lessons learned etches itself into my heart.

I have thought often about what makes a trial sacred. Many of my life's experiences have changed my perspective. Many of my prayers have been heard and my soul, if even for a moment communes with that of a Higher power.

The Seed
As I really begin to immerse myself in the lessons I have learned throughout my life, I of course give credit to the wonderful parents and leaders that I have had. I haven't always been a spiritual person. While in High School, my choices took me down a path that I am not proud of today. However, as I walked away from that path and allowed the Atonement of Jesus Christ to work in my life, a seed was planted.

When I was 19 years old I was married in the Mt. Timpanogos temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I made covenants with Brett and with God that bound me to Brett beyond the grave. I was not married until 'death do us part'. I was married for time, and throughout all eternity. Any children that came into my family would be sealed to me beyond the grave as well. My seed was beginning to grow.

Along Came One
Brett and I were married for 2 1/2 years before we were blessed with Ryan in our lives. I had miscarried twice before he came and I was thrilled to be a mom. Shortly after he was born, we learned that he had no immune system. The treatment -- a bone marrow transplant. Without diminishing the sacred nature of some of the things that went on within the walls of the hospital, I will say that angels walk the halls of the Children's hospital, and we were recipients of their care. That trial has become very sacred to me. I have learned things that I never would have learned had I not gone through it. The most important thing that I learned was that God hears and answers prayers, and miracles are still performed on the earth today.

A Box of Darkness
When Sydney came along, I was plagued with severe post-pardom depression. I had no idea that such feelings could even exist. I was a mess. I remember very well the box of darkness that I was stuck in. While I never want to return to that box, I have learned so much from my experiences and I have empathy for those who suffer from this horrible mental illness. There are times even today, 8 years later, that I find myself on my way back to the box. I am grateful that I have learned to use the tools given me to climb out of the box from time to time.

Counting Blessings
I could probably spend hours recounting my life and documenting the trials I have had and the lessons I have learned. I am a better person today than I was a year, 5 years, even 10 years ago.  I have much to be thankful for. I am grateful to be able to recognize that my blessings have come from Sacred Trials.

Rockwell Relay - Glorious End

During leg 7 (there were 8 legs of the ride), Joy had a mechanical problem. Her tire blew a hole in it. I'm not sure how long she had to wait for our support vehicle to show up, but she had given us a heads up that it might blow so I was anxious to get going  from the pit stop that we made. We all got out and helped her put a new tire on. Within a few hundred feet the second tire blew the side wall.

 I quickly got out of the van and offered to finish her leg. Within a few minutes I was off.

As I rode to the top of the hill, I kept telling myself to prove what I as made of. I felt like I had failed the team in my second leg because I had allowed myself to be under fueled. It was now my time to redeem myself. I made good time up the 1.66 mile climb. As I reached the summit, Joy was standing outside of her car offering to finish the leg for me. I declined. I told her that the beauty of working so hard on an ascent is the descent that comes after. I felt so bad for her. I could understand how she must be feeling, but I also knew that I had worked hard, and I need to prove to my team, and to myself that I could be strong.

Climbing...

Joy offering me some energy chews.

I ended up riding just over 15 miles on this leg. When I arrived at the exchange, my rider wasn't around. We yelled for our team number and she came out of the crowd to take the bracelet and finish.

Hilary leaving for the final leg.

Hilary kicking butt. She was so much farther than we had expected.

Joy found a bike shop in Heber, UT and got a new tire. We really wanted to finish together. We thought that we would reach our next rider early on in her leg, but she kicked some butt and it took us a while to find her. Once we did find her, we all jumped out of the car and took our bikes off the rack and finished the remaining 8 miles with her.

One last pic before the finish

We figure we lost an hour with the mechanical problem. That hour allowed a LOT of teams to pass us. Through it though we formed a bond with each other that we wouldn't have formed had that not happened. Rides like these are not about just one person. They are about pulling together as a team and stepping up to the plate when you need to.

Joy - complete Joy

Rockwell Relay - Dead Center

Me, Hilary, and KM ready waiting for Joy.

It was a lot of fun being in the vehicle and cheering on the team. We found that it was best to cheer on for the first half of the leg, and then go on to the next exchange so that we could prepare ourselves for the next leg.

Superhero Joy. Always making us laugh.

By noonish I was back on the road. I made the mistake of not fueling my body enough. That coupled with the heat, and a very strong headwind, my next leg of 16.4 miles was brutal. The wind was so bad on the back of the mountain that there was no relief on the descents. I had to constantly pedal. By mile 11, I was starving. Luckily Joy, my teammate, gave me some CHOMPS to eat before I left. I really didn't think I would need them as the leg was only 16 miles, but I'm forever grateful that she gave them to me. Typically, you eat one gooey goodness every hour. I was hungry enough and out of enough energy that I ate six of the dang things within just a few minutes.

Waiting for Hilary to meet me at Exchange 4, my second leg

Notice the deer on the side of the road. It scared the crap out of me.

SO glad to be finished! 

The next leg of the race was an out and back leg. They would not allow the cars to go and support our riders so we were at that rest stop until our rider returned. We hung out and talked and ate chocolate-dipped cinnamon bears and strawberries. Since it was a 'pamperfest' there were two massage therapists there. (Not quite enough for the crowd)  I got in the line, but it was so long that I hopped out of it. I think that time was some of my favorite. I really enjoyed getting to know the women on my team.

Rockwell Relay - The Beginning.

This past weekend I was invited to participate in the Rockwell Relay Pamperfest. A friend that I have made through cycling had won a team entry and she ended up sick.

I have to admit, I was a little giddy when she asked me to ride. I wanted to put a team together, but I was so busy at the end of June, I didn't have time to put anything together. I just figured I'd hold off until next year.

We had a team meeting on Tuesday July 5th. We decided who would ride which legs, what time we would meet, etc. We all thought it would be best to sleep in our own beds and drive up early Saturday morning to the Snowbasin ski resort in Ogden. Of course I didn't sleep that well the night before the ride, and my stomach was in knots all morning as I was the team member that was going to start us off.

The team before the start
L-R - Joy, Hilary, KM, Myrinda, Me

Our ride was 168 miles of some of the most beautiful country I have ever seen. I had no idea that Utah had so much beauty just north of me. We went from mountainous beauty to lush green hillsides to massive walls of red rock. We passed reservoir, after reservoir, after reservoir. It was absolutely beautiful.

My first leg of the relay was 22.22 miles. We began by circling the parking lot of the Snowbasin resort twice and then a climb out of the resort. We descended Trappers Loop and that allowed me to be FAST. I got going 42 mph going down the hill.

The First Descent

My phrase on this leg - "on your left".  I started at the front of the pack and after the first circle around the parking lot I had dropped back to the back of the pack. The road was damp from the sprinklers and there was a little gravel. I was a little nervous and took the loops with caution. As we left the parking lot, we all began the first climb of the day. I looked up ahead and there were probably 20 or so ladies in front of me. I felt really, really slow, but as the minutes began to pass, I began to pass those women. There were very few that I didn't pass on the climb and I felt great. I pushed myself and played leap frog with a girl several times. By the end of the leg she said to me "You pass me on every single hill!" I smiled and said, "Yeah, but you pass me on every single descent." She laughed and said "That's because I'm heavier and that makes the descents faster." We both rode near each other for the last 2 miles and finished within seconds of each other.

We had fun in the van cheering on the rest of our team. We would drive next to our rider and honk our horn in a funny way. I actually loved that because I knew when I heard that sound, it was my ladies behind me cheering me on.