A Dash of Perspective

This morning was a stereotypical Monday morning.

It started out well.

Sydney climbed in bed with me to snuggle for a bit before it was time to get ready for school.

She read a book to me.

I got up and we started getting ready for the day.

Then the powers that be, whomever they are, decided that our Monday was starting on the RIGHT foot.

The tears came.

My frustration level began to rise, and I couldn't wait to get them out the door.

I told Syd that I was NOT going to help in her classroom because her behavior was such that it didn't merit me coming. (more crying) I don't like being treated like all I do is try to make my family's lives miserable. It's not a fun feeling.

Once the kids left for school I did my ritual site checking. I checked our family site, read the blogs I follow, etc.

It was then that I got a little dash of perspective.

My cousin's daughter, who is in the hospital, threw a surprise party for her mom.

Then my tears came.

I sometimes forget how wonderful my life is. We all sleep in the same house. We get up every morning, have breakfast, get ready for the day, all as a family.

So, I got myself ready, and went to the school. Syd didn't see me enter the classroom for quite some time and I didn't say anything for a while.

Then she heard my voice and smiled.

As I left, she blew me a kiss.

Defining Moments

For weeks I have gone over this post in my mind.

I've picked up the pieces of people with a lack of commitment.

I've taken a good hard look at my own life and what I can change to make myself a better person.

I've read nutrition books, scoured web sites over and over.

I've made a plan in my mind. It is ready to be put on paper and followed.

I've attempted to pin point the moments in my life that have shaped me into who I am today.

I am still learning.

Today my thoughts and actions bringing me to this point hardly matter.

This morning, Ryan climbed in bed with me. He was awaiting the celebration that he knew I had planned for him. I hadn't planned anything. A gift awaited him in my closet, but a celebration, I had none.

As I lay in bed with his head snuggled against my chest, I realized that a defining moment in my life had come 9 years earlier on this day.

Nine years ago, I lay in a hospital bed, in pain and anemic. My own blood was being transfused back into my body to make up for the 36 oz of marrow that had been taken from my hip. I hadn't slept well. There were problems with the processing of the marrow and we were praying for a miracle.

Early in the morning of March 2, we received the good news. The transplant was going forward, and a chance at life was about to be given to our family.


(Here it is. What was left of 36 oz of marrow - 3 coke cans worth - it is a miracle. It sustains life.)


We didn't know what the future held. We just knew that for this small moment our lives were being defined. A shape was beginning to form.

I hope that I never come to a point in my life where I have a loss of gratitude for the blessing my Heavenly Father has given me. I look back to the time we spent at the Children's Hospital Los Angeles, and it seems like a world away, yet there are moments when it enters my mind and my heart with clarity.

So today as I observe the world around me, I again thank God for the many defining moments in my life. Especially this one.

Tooth Fairy Surprise

For a while now Sydney has been wiggling a loose tooth.

This morning she told me that she lost her tooth.

I was a little surprised, and a bit excited for her.

I turned around and she showed me how she has lost a LOT of teeth.

She wants to put these "teeth" under her pillow tonight to see if the tooth fairy takes the bait.

Needless to say, her 'real' tooth is still in her mouth.

I'm back

The cool air moved slowly through my lungs

It was a perfect day to be back

The bike is light

It is made especially for me

One day it will become a part of me

One day the bruises on my legs will be gone

Each day is a new day

And today...

I'm back

35 Ways

(I love this picture of Brett and Sydney. It says SO much about what goes on around here.)

Today is Brett's Birthday. He is one of the hardest people to buy for, so we stuck to things that are simple...junior mints, and a card. The t-shirt that he asked for was out of stock, so that will have to come at a later date.

Since Brett is 35, I thought I'd jot down 35 things that I love about him.

1. He is considerate of me
2. He likes to have fun
3. He teases
4. He is a hard worker
5. He is very smart
6. He plays with the kids
7. He is a great father
8. He takes time for ME
9. He honors his Priesthood
10. He is great with youth
11. He makes me laugh...DAILY
12. He loves his family
13. He is always looking out for someone else
14. He cares about his health
15. He looks great in spandex
16. He wants me to be healthy too
17. He has goals, and dreams
18. He is a great listener
19. He never complains about the things I do to irritate him.
20. He puts our family first
21. He is honest
22. A man of integrity
23. He respects women, and especially me
24. He serves honorably in everything he does
25. He is a great friend
26. He is MY BEST FRIEND
27. He knows how to calm me
28. He enjoys the outdoors
29. He wants the best for our family
30. He is TRUE
31. He is always finding ways to make our lives a little more comfortable
32. He is patient
33. He is a good employee
34. He is sexy
35. Best of all - HE IS MINE.

Happy Birthday Brett. I couldn't think of another man I would want to spend my life with.

I did it!

Tonight I earned the Mom of the Year award! I swore in front of my kids. I think it may be the first time they have ever heard the 'D' word come out of my mouth.

You know what they did?

They laughed.

I'm SO awesome!

It's Classified

This morning we went in to talk to the Principal at Ryan's school.

Some of the kids in his class saw us in there and they asked Ryan what it was all about.

His response:

"It's Classified."

I will neither confirm nor deny that I know who is behind the glasses.
It's classified too.
And, yes I know - my counter is a mess...I was COOKING!

Life's Little Breaks

It is pouring at BERGER HOUSE tonight.

Ryan came home from school and said he had a bad day. One boy kneed him in the crotch, another kid took his backpack and threw it in the garbage, and yet another one went through his desk and took what he pleased only to taunt Ryan with it later.

I spent a large portion of the afternoon pondering how I could handle the situation at school. Brett suggested I call one of the mothers. This isn't the first time we've struggled with one of the boys. The bullying has actually gone on for over a year now. I couldn't bring myself to call her.

Turns out I didn't have to call her. She actually called me. Apparently her son told her husband that he kneed Ryan today. So she called to see if we have been struggling with her son. I told her yes and told her what had happened. It almost seems like a daily occurrence, and we are trying to teach Ryan to turn the other cheek. Unfortunately his cheeks are getting calloused and his heart is breaking.

After bedtime, I got another call from the mother. She told me that this is a two way street and that Ryan has been throwing rocks at her son, and calling him names and trying daily to get him in trouble. All of which, Ryan denies.

I know my kids aren't perfect. However, I know Ryan's behavior fairly well, and some of the things he was accused of tonight are out of character for him.

Tomorrow he will have to face this kid, as he does every other day.

And tonight, He cried himself to sleep.

Hopefully soon he will catch one of life's little breaks.

Laughter

Making people laugh is fun.

I think it makes us younger.

My kids must want me to be younger because they make me laugh.

Take for example, Sydney. The other night we were doing the dishes and she said, "Mom, I'm not interested in doing dishes." I said, "Oh no? What are your interests then?" She said, "Oh, dancing, singing, but not dishes."

That made me laugh.

Now for Ryan. Ryan makes me laugh.

Yesterday I took him to the eye Dr.

I handed him is glasses that were broken and looked up and saw this.

I guess one lens is better than zero.

Then to add to our giggles, the Dr had him try on these:

An Answer to One of Life's Questions

Have you ever wondered
what would make a 6-year old girl
tiptoe through the house,
twirling and swirling like a ballerina?

It's simple really.

A ponytail

Lesson of the Day

Yesterday I took just over 25 minutes to finish my former blog post. Which means I was 5 minutes late to Sydney's classroom.

Dang it.

I'm not sure why I just can't say No.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy helping kids, but I enjoy helping my own kids more.

When I help in Sydney's classroom, I rarely help her. She's doing a pretty good job, so I help the kids who aren't. I guess I should just be grateful to see her during her class time.

We wink at each other, and I give the occasional side hug as I walk out the door with one of her classmates.

That, I suppose, is all worth it, and why I can't say no.

Yesterday, I got my instructions from the teacher and pulled the first child out. I wasn't there long when my cell phone rang.

I told the young man just a minute as I was going to silence my phone so as to not bother us again.

Then I looked down, and surprise! It was the elementary school calling me. In that case, I needed to answer the call.

It was Ryan.

He threw up.

I immediately gathered up my things and told the little guy that I needed to go as my son was sick.

I apologized for the teacher for my mere 5 minutes and headed to the office.

Ryan met me in the hall way. He had eaten a jelly bean and it made him gag to the point of throwing up. Since Sydney had a 24-hour bug last week I didn't want to take any chances so I brought him home. He rested for a few hours and then was perfectly fine by the time school let out. (How convenient)

Anyway, the lesson for the day:

Don't eat jelly beans. Especially if they are given to you by a classmate and they taste like onions.

Dang Harry Potter.

Magic

No matter how you look at it...

It's Magic.

Out With the Old

I love this time of year. I love looking back at the previous year and seeing all that I have learned, the many blessings that have been poured upon me, etc.

Every year Brett puts together our Christmas card.

He does an amazing job.

2009 was no different, except for the fact that he told me he ALWAYS does it. So, I began a lengthy, witty (I might add), letter that apparently had too many words because they were edited out of his final copy. Completely.

With that, and with the next 25 minutes I have to burn before I have to be teaching children how to sound out letter combinations in Sydney's classroom, I will have my own look back at the year 2009 and its accomplishments.

• We spent the first part of the year Ice Fishing. By first part of the year I mean the first day, or maybe it was the second day. Anyway, it was so wonderfully freezing that we didn't go again.

• I proved that I am the absolute coolest wife ever when I kidnapped my husband and flew him across the country for a vacation to our nation's capital. Sorry to the rest of the men in the world. I'm taken.

• We took the kids to Disneyland.

• I ran the Ragnar Relay. It was SO cool. I can't really talk about it.

• Brett went to Europe, and I went to AZ. I am just slightly jealous that he was on the Champs-Élysées the last day of the Tour de France

• I trained for a 100-mile race. I only got the training in. This is an out with the old post though so I won't elaborate. You can read about it here.

• Brett proved that he is the coolest husband ever when he actually got to ride the race that we both trained for. Sorry ladies, he is taken.

• We enjoyed Christmas, and got to spend time with family. Grandma Bowers was able to visit with my parents, but I'm not sure she knows she was here.

• I think one of the best things that happened is that I have convinced Sydney that she needs to spend her own money on paper. Maybe now I will have some in the printer when I go to print things....Maybe.

And, since this is an out with the old post, it needs a picture because in looking back on my blog, I've noticed that I ramble.

Without pictures.

So here you go.

Enjoy.

Just before the magic

Saturday Entertainment

(This picture is older...we have much more snow now, but I didn't want to post without a picture)

Today we had a family outing.

Before we left, I was curling Sydney's hair and our (one-sided) conversation went something like this:

Sydney: "Mom, Santa Claus is real because if he wasn't, then there wouldn't be anyone to put presents under the tree. So, Santa has got to be real. If Santa wasn't real, then you would be the one to buy the presents and just put them under the tree. That would be stupid."

While at the mall today, I wished I had a video camera. We were walking to go to our car and I glanced over at one of the windows of a store just as a woman didn't notice that she was NOT walking toward the door and smacked into the glass.

I laughed out loud.

You can read another funny story just like this here.

*Post Edit

I forgot to add...I took Sydney to the restroom at the mall and as we were drying our hands off, I turned around and a man in his early twenties had walked into the restroom. Poor guy couldn't get out of there fast enough. All of us around the door laughed. One lady said "Man, it's a good thing we don't use the restroom the same way the guys do...that guy would have gotten an eye full." Another lady said as she came in the door "Was that a DUDE?".

All in all, some pretty good laughs for the day.

Healing

It's pretty pathetic that in the month of November I only wrote one measly post. I'm sure that many things happened that were noteworthy. I just didn't happen to note them. While I have SO many things to be Thankful for, I am finding it harder and harder to learn from my 8-week old trial.

Every year I vow to be a better triathlete by the following year, and every year I fail. I make excuses why I'm not exercising, and training for such events. This year was my year. Both of my kids are in school full time, and I can finally take all the time in the world to take time for ME.

HA!

Surprise!!

I am now 8 weeks out from my accident. For kicks I pulled up the pictures of my legs.







and my bike



I guess really it isn't for kicks. It's yet another step in the healing process.

My life has changed for a time. It is difficult to see past the bruises that still lace both of my legs. It is difficult to know that I cannot run for many months ahead, if I will be able to run again at all.

For a long time I have based my health on whether or not I could run. I realize there are other forms of exercise, but they are just not the same. There's something about being able to say you're a runner.

The other day Sydney brought up a memory of taking our friend Tami to see the Ragnar hill. I choked back the tears. I don't know if I'll ever be able to run that hill again. It's irrational.

I feel like I have LOST a part of myself. It is hiding in the weeks and months of healing ahead.

and then...

Just when I feel like things can't possibly get worse, the peace that I felt the day of my accident creeps upon me and I remember that there surely were angels there watching over me, and I realize that I am healing.

Thanksgiving Day Traditions

Last year we started a tradition at Brett's parent's home making gingerbread houses. The kids really enjoy being able to create their bundles of candy intertwined with a little graham crackers. Most of the cousins put a TON of candy on their homes because they eat it later. I don't let my kids eat the candy. I think it is gross, but I do let them bring their creations home and I tolerate them on the bar for a few weeks until I can't stand it any longer.

I think both kids did a pretty good job.

Sugar and Spice

I find that I rarely talk about Sydney on my blog. It is not for a lack of love for her, she just doesn't say as many funny things, so I tend to write Ryan's musings as they are entertaining, and blogs are for entertainment. Right?

Syd has been on my mind all week. The love I feel for her seems to grow daily, and my heart swells just being in her presence.

Sydney is genuine.

This year at school they are doing a program called "Bucket Fillers". A 'bucket filler' is a person who does nice things for people without being nice, thus filling their 'bucket'.

Sydney is always looking for ways to fill the 'buckets' of those around her. She often tells me about the kids at school who don't have anyone to play with that she offers a friendly hand to. Many times she gets turned down and it breaks her heart, and mine.

Sydney is my best helper in the home. She loves helping me in the kitchen and I tend to let her do things that many people would probably gasp at the thought of letting their 6-year old do. She loves chopping onions, and anything else that needs to be chopped. Of course I don't let her use the knife if I am not in the room with her, but she does a great job.

Sydney is loving. She cares about how she makes me feel.

Sydney is independent. I love her independence. She reminds me of myself in this aspect, and I love that quality about her. She is responsible. I never have to tell her to get her homework and put it in her backpack. She just does it. When she is getting ready in the morning, she follows the same routine.

I feel so blessed to have Sydney in my home.

Happy Halloween

Halloween Celebrations are going on at school today. Sydney was thrilled that she got to wear make-up, and Ryan is sporting Stitch again this year. He was excited to scare the girls at school who don't like Stitch. I'm just thrilled that he was willing to re-costume this year. It saves me time and money.

Happy Halloween.

The More You Run

This morning as Ryan was getting ready for school, we had another great conversation that went like this:

Ryan: Mom, you don't just lose weight when you run right?
Me: What do you mean?
Ryan: Well, Josh says that running is just for losing weight, but I think you could gain weight because you gain muscle.
Me: Yes, I suppose you could gain muscle. Running is also good for your heart.
Ryan: So the more you run, the more you fart?

he he he

Riding my back wheel

In cycling, one hooks on (not literally), to the back wheel of the person they are riding with so as to take a break from the work load of grinding the pedals. Some call that riding in the slip stream, which I have found really works if you can keep the cadence of the person in front of you. If you can't, well then you work doubly hard.

I work doubly hard.

Anyway.

On Saturday Brett rode in the Tour of St George.

It is a 100 mile bike race that takes you through three state parks, Snow Canyon, Sand Hollow and Quail Creek. I really don't know what that means, but that's what their web site says, and it sounds cool.

The weather promised to be nice. Highs in the 80's, lows in the 50's. (Brett said it felt hotter than 80's when he was climbing. I'm sure his body temperature was much hotter than that)

I wanted to go and support him SO bad. Problem was, I still can't drive, so I would be stuck in the same spot all day. Instead, I shed a few tears, and enjoyed just over 24 hours with my in-laws. They are wonderful.

On Friday, as Brett was getting ready for his trip, he informed me that he was going to ride my back wheel in the race. Of course this wasn't the same "ride your back wheel" that it would have been had I been there...

That back tire is literally the back tire off of my now unusable bike

Then, yesterday I noticed he had his legs marked. It's not uncommon for participants to have their bodies marked. Brett's body marking was unique though. When I got up closer, I realized he had my name on both of his calves.

My legs have never looked so good!

When questioned about it, he simply stated that he rode my back wheel, and used my legs for the ride.

What a guy.

A Sign of Manhood

Ryan dropped the peanut butter container on his foot the other day. He said it hurt. Then he made me laugh by saying "That's ok, getting hurt is a sign of manhood."

I wonder if he thinks I am manly?

Everyday Miracles

Just when I think I can't possibly have another blessing in my life, I am surprised by yet another miracle.

I would feel ungrateful if I didn't recount the events of this past Friday October 9, 2009. I'll start by setting up the unusual things that happened for a typical Friday.

First of all, Brett drove in to work. While this may not sound unusual, it is for Brett. He typically rides in a carpool van, but on this day, he drove our van. You see, it was the plan for me to ride to Novell and have lunch with him. Since this was the plan, I sent a backpack full of clothing for me. I planned to leave in time to shower in time for lunch.

I did a few chores and got dressed for my ride. I left the house at 10:35 am. My legs were feeling great, and I expected a good ride.

7 1/2 minutes in to my ride, the unexpected happened. I was cruisin' at 26 miles an hour and down the road a car had come to a stop at a stop sign. I thought for sure they would look my way, see me, and wait for me to pass. Unfortunately, that is not what happened. I started yelling, hoping that the driver would hear me since I wasn't making eye contact with her, but that was to no avail. Just as I thought that my situation couldn't get any worse, the car came in to my lane. I had no place to go, so I slammed into the front fender of her car. My body flew up on to her windshield, and I landed in front of her car.

She immediately came around and knelt down beside me, apologizing for hitting me, and not seeing me.

I was awake, and alert. I started asking someone to please get my phone out of my back pocket and call 911. The driver didn't have a phone, and I knew I needed help.

I was unsure if I had injured my back, or neck. I was bleeding from somewhere, but I didn't know where. I have had enough first aid training to know that I shouldn't move. The people around me couldn't figure out how to get my phone out of my pocket, but a kind man stopped that had a cell phone. I asked him to call 911, and then to call Brett.

So many people stopped to help. A man stopped and said "I'm a doctor, I can help." I looked up, and saw that it was one of the pediatricians that I take the kids to. I was grateful to see a familiar face.

While I feel like I was concious, I'm sure there are moments that I just don't remember. Telling people my name over and over again became exhausting. I just wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep.

My knee was killing me. I couldn't straighten my leg and I just kept praying for the pain to just numb itself.

I was taken to the ER and Brett met me there (He was able to because he drove in to work).

I was taken for X-Rays, and seen by the doctor there. All of the staff treated me so kindly. I teased with them, and they must have thought I was crazy.

When it came down to results, here is the damage:

No Broken Bones
5 stitches across the bridge of my nose
Road rash on my left leg, and bruises the size of Dallas
Road rash on my right leg, multiple abrasions on my knee, and multiple bruises.
I could not bend my right knee, so I came home with a knee brace.
I could not put weight on my right leg, so I walk with crutches.
Broken Bike
and...

I'm ALIVE!!

I have had SO many miracles in my life. Here's to one more.

Day One

Day TWO


My BIKE, it makes me want to cry

Cone of Shame

Yesterday I took the kids shopping with me. On our way home, our conversation went something like this

Ryan: Mom, did you know that Josh's dog had a 'Cone of Shame'?

Me: Yes, I heard that.

Sydney: Why do they call it a 'Cone of Shame'?

Ryan: Because he got fixed

Sydney: What does it mean, he got fixed?

Me: It means that he can't get a girl dog pregnant

Sydney: He could get a girl dog pregnant?

Me: Well, not anymore

Ryan: Yeah, getting fixed just means that he can't have nudity.

*Uhh, good thing that it doesn't mean the same things for humans.

Good Friends

We were fortunate to have a couple of friends from Brett's high school days visit us over the weekend. I haven't laughed that long and hard in a long time. My heart was full of gratitude for these men. I loved hearing stories of their younger years. Thank you Kevin and Ben for helping Brett be who he is today.

When Upon Life's Billows

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost
Count your many blessings name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Last weekend we had the opportunity to visit with some friends that we haven't seen in many years. It was wonderful to have them in our home. Our days and nights used to be spent with them in the early years of our marriage.

We reminisced about the good ol' days. We laughed, and our children played as if they were long lost friends. Life doesn't get much better, really.

During their visit, I was brought to the realization of my blessings. I often think that we are just an ordinary family, in an ordinary house. Nothing about my life has ever felt lavish, or over the top. We work hard, and we do the best we know how with what we are given.

I have since realized that I am a very blessed person.

Here are some of my blessings, my most prized possessions.

I have a husband who loves me.

I have amazing kids

I live in one of the most beautiful areas on earth. Who needs therapy when the mountains summon your name.

I am fortunate to experience peace in my home.

I Thank God today for all that I have.

The Measurement of Time

For quite some time I have been somewhat fascinated with the measurement of time. When I run, I want to be faster. When I bike, I don't so much as think of speed, but rather, can I be back in time for "X", whatever "X" is.

Then there is the measurement of time in a day, and can I possibly fit everything in.

Then time is measured by months, and years.

When the unthinkable happens (death), time stands still.

It is often thought that life would be better if you could turn back time. Perhaps, just a day. If only I could turn the clock back one day, I'm sure I would have no regrets. Right?

When someone you love dies, that day becomes a marker of time. Everything is measured in the time before and after death.

This fascination with time has turned my thoughts yet again to my sister, Azure. I now measure time in the before and after of her death. It is an interesting thing to do, I know, but it happens. I've wondered why everything is thought of as "before Azure died..." or "two weeks after Azure died..." etc.

Strange, I know.

I've come to the realization that the world's measurement of time is based on the life of Christ. Before the Savior of the world was born, time is measure in BC. After his birth, time is measured in AD. What an interesting concept to parallel the life and death of someone I knew personally, and love dearly.

It's the before and after in the measurement of time.

Chocolate

Tonight is a chocolate night. I only had three pieces left from the wonderful authentic chocolate from England.

Now I only have one piece left.

I will have to save it for a special day. It is strawberry filled, so I doubt that anyone will want it.

Fall is in the air here. The leaves on the trees are beginning to show their color. I can look out the window and see the mountain in its beauty.

I love this time of year. It takes me back to something that I seem to be doing a lot of lately.

Reflection.

It was this time of year two years ago that a dear friend took his life.

It was this time of year two years ago that my sister went to heaven. I often wonder how close their spirits are to me. They are close. I know that, but how often are they allowed the time to comfort, or perhaps protect?

Yesterday I was on my bike. I was just over a mile away from my house. The wind was ferocious. So much that I thought that maybe I should just turn around. I knew I had to get my mileage in though so I continued down the hill.

As I passed through the stop sign and on to the straight away, I thought of my sister, how I miss her so. I had a little prayer in my heart that she could accompany me on my ride.

The road to turn onto is not far from the hill that I had just descended and I had the thought that I should probably take it wide, just in case there was a car coming. I did just that, and as I looked up, there was a large Ford truck heading straight at me. There wasn't much I could do but swerve and say a quick prayer in my heart. With about 5 feet to spare, the man looked up from his cell phone, and swerved to miss me.

For the next 1/2 mile I cried. I wondered what exactly had happened there. Was my prayer heard? Did I have a guardian angel, perhaps my sister, along side me to protect me from the danger that I had just encountered?

Or

Was it just the grace of a loving God that had protected me? I surely would have died, or if not died, I would have been seriously injured. There was no way I could compete with the vehicle in my lane.

So, I shed tears of gratitude - Gratitude that I was still alive. Tears of hope, that maybe I was allowed a visit from someone I long to see. Maybe it is wishful thinking.

Maybe I just need more chocolate.

The Cool Kids Club

Last year Brett and I trained for the Salem Triathlon. They had changed the bike course back to the original bike course that took you up Payson Canyon to Kiwanis Park, and then back again into Salem to start the run.

We would ride out and back and I thought I was amazing, riding up those hills. I mentioned once to a neighbor that we had ridden up Payson Canyon and he asked me if we had ridden the switchbacks. I told him "No" and he kind or shrugged his shoulders. I remember thinking - What a jerk. I rode up Payson Canyon, I should be part of the Cool Kids Club.

Well, this week, I proved that I was not amazing last year. I needed to get 47 miles in for my long ride. It was my intention to ride 23 up and then come back and ride an easy mile back on the flats. Well, 2 hours and 15 minutes into my ride, I was 21 miles up, I had reached 7,000 feet and I was still climbing. I knew I had to be back at the house because it was "Grandparent's Day" at school and I thought Sydney was going to be checked out early so I needed to be home just in case. I was climbing at a mere 5MPH, and another 2 miles would take me forever. I was afraid that if I continued, I would be on the bike for 4 hours and miss my in-laws.

So, I turned around and flew down the mountain. My hands were killing me from gripping the handlebars and the breaks for 8 miles. What took me an hour and a half to climb, only took me 1/2 hour to descend. (I should have gone the extra 2 miles up).

I have now inducted myself into "The Cool Kid's Club". Thank you very much.

And just to put this all in to perspective, a few weeks ago, Brett and I had traveled up Payson Canyon, by car, to watch the Tour of Utah, a professional bicycle race. We misjudged the timing of these men and we missed them all. They rode 77 miles in just over 3 hours, and I only rode 42 in the same amount of time. Thus, my induction into the 'KID'S' club, not the 'MEN'S' club.

*Brett followed suit on Saturday. He rode a little farther than I did. I tease him that he was just trying to one-up me. He disagrees. Nevertheless, I'm proud of him.

Give 'Em 5

As many know, our son Ryan was born with a rare disease called Severe Combined Immunodeficiency Syndrome (SCIDS), otherwise known as the bubble-boy disease. This condition is often misdiagnosed, and many children aren't properly diagnosed until they are extremely sick, or as it is often the case, it is too late.

Well, a dear mother of a child born with this disease, has set up a foundation called SCID Angels for Life. Her first son passed away from SCIDS, and her second son, now 14 is doing well after an in-utero transplant. The money that is donated to this foundation goes towards research, newborn screening, and educational support for parents and families.

When Ryan was a baby, we were told many times that we could not be helped because he didn't have cancer. Well, the treatment for this disease is a Bone Marrow Transplant, and is the same as a cancer patient. We were told at one point that if we could get a doctor to say that Ryan had a form of cancer, our world would be opened up to much more support. Thankfully, we had amazing insurance at the time, and it was all covered.

So, what does this have to do with you, my blog reader?

Well, Tim Schwarz, a father of a little guy with SCIDS, has pledged to run the Chicago Marathon on October 11th. His goal is to raise $5,000 for the SCID Angels for Life foundation. You can help by pledging your $5, or more if you have it, at this link HERE Click on the Events Page on the left hand side and pledge what you can. If you have $5, it would be appreciated. If you have more to give, you will be helping families who have very few options. Every little bit helps.

Thank you, and God Bless you for your donation.

Ask a Stupid Question

I've been know to ask stupid questions in my lifetime.

My mom used to answer this "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

Well, what do you know - there is an "Ask a Stupid Question" DAY!

and

It just so happens to be on my birthday - September 28th.

Therefore, I am entitled I say.

Becoming 'One' with the Bike

Since my quest has begun to ride 100 miles on my bike, I have really tried hard to learn as much as I can about my bike. I need to be able to fix it should I have a problem while I'm out on the road.

I've had a few experiences the past few days that have helped me realize that I still have a lot to learn.

First and foremost, don't ever clip your foot in the pedal and try to balance, showing your husband where your foot is when fully extended. Why, you ask? Well, it is extremely hard to clip back out, and you might just fall, while not moving, and bruise your knee, scuff up your arm, and hit your head on the nearest tree. Embarrassing.

Second, when you are getting multiple flat tires, have a second set of eyes look at your tires. Going through multiple tubes, and patching them all, only for them to go flat again during the next ride, is probably caused by a thorn that you don't see with your own eyes. (Don't worry, I now have new tires, and hopefully many miles will pass away flat free.)

Third, don't think that for a second, you will be able to leave the house as soon as the kids leave for school. It's great in theory, but anything that can go wrong will. This morning after two flat tires, a dropped chain, and I can't remember what else, I was finally able to get out of the house by 10am.

So, for now I am not 'One' with my bike.

However.

Each day is a new day, and thanks to the fact that I know people might be looking to see if I have ridden that day, I am getting out, and hopefully 8 weeks from now I will be stronger mentally and physically and a flat tire won't make me want to swear.

Accountability

Since I made the announcement that I am riding a Century bike ride in October, I have been keeping track of my rides - Mileage and Time - in a spreadsheet that Brett sent me.

I can tell which rides were harder. For example, last week I rode 34 miles in 2 hours and 18 minutes, and this week I rode 40 miles in 2 hours 29 minutes. Obviously the ride this week was easier, thus my better time. I didn't climb the mountain this week on my longer ride.

Anyway, back to the accountability....I have posted a link to the spreadsheet on the side of my blog. Feel free to check in from time to time and keep me honest.

Today has been laced with frustrations. Flat Tire - Second Flat Tire in ONE week I might add!

I've ordered new Puncture Resistant tires. I hope they come soon. Of course the tire patch kit is on the back of Brett's bike, and his bike is at work with him. So, I will have to go and buy a patch kit and maybe, just maybe I might get my ride in today.

Gratitude and More

Today I was brought to my knees in gratitude. I don't know if I will ever know why the Lord has blessed me so much, but He has.

I received an e-mail from a family who had a baby with SCIDS, the same disease that Ryan was born with. He lost his battle last week. Stacey, his mother shared a video with our small group of families that are experiencing, or have experienced this disease first hand.

As I watched the video, the memories flooded my mind. I remember Ryan looking like that. I remember his cries, his face looked the same as baby Liam's.

And then, I was brought to reality. I still have my son. He has been healed. Miracles have happened in my life, and I will forever be grateful.

I am trying to rise to the occasion and teach him. Whatever his purpose in life, I hope I am able to aid him in fulfilling it. This is one of my greatest wishes.

Gratitude and so much MORE

Tour de St George

Yesterday Brett sent me a text and asked me if I was up to riding a Century Ride in October. It is something we both have wanted to do for a while.

Last year we rode just over 50 miles while in AZ, so I'm pretty sure I can ride the course. I just hadn't ridden in a while. Well, I agreed, so that meant I needed to get back on the bike. I took to the road and rode just over 13 miles.

Today I went out and rode close to the same distance. I love that I can just get on the bike and go, and go, and go. The mental game isn't quite like it is when you are running. You can't really stop, unless you get off your bike, and that's embarrassing.

So, on October17th, I will ride the Tour de St. George. It will likely take me all day, but I will finish, and I can cross that off the bucket list, and maybe if I like it, I'll add it back to the list and cross it off again.

Love

Today after school, Sydney camped out on my bed with me.

She told me all about school, who she played with, what she learned.

She went with me to pick up some wheat.

She helped me make some bread.

She went to the grocery store with me.

We made up silly songs and sang at the top of our lungs.

Then, as I tucked her in to bed, she told me she didn't want to go to school tomorrow. She wanted to stay home and have lunch with me.

Warms my heart a little bit.

It's Love.

Open Mouth...Insert Foot?

Tonight I was at Albertson's shopping. I had my Vibram shoes on. I can't go anywhere without comments about them. Well, tonight was no different.

Here I am, at the checkout when a man wheels himself up behind me. He asked if my shoes were comfortable. I said, Yes, except for when I walk on them all day, then they're not so comfortable...as I look down and realize that I am talking to a man who can't walk.

Way to go Deni. Next time I will try to just say YES.

Freedom?

The kids started school today. I enjoyed the silence, but I missed them. My newfound "freedom" consisted of riding my bike (I think I might ride in a Century Bike ride this fall), Primary Presidency meeting, lunch with friends, and cleaning the kitchen and living room.

Ryan is in 4th Grade!! Where did all of the time go?

Sydney is in 1st Grade

They had a great 1st day. I hope they continue to have fun.

The Reunion

Tuesday Night the kids and I went to the airport in SLC to pick up Brett. Delta Airlines has a great web site that allows you to track flights, and we saw that it was coming in 1/2 hour earlier than it was scheduled to come in. We hurried and got in the van and off we went.

As I pulled into the parking garage, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I felt like a little kid who couldn't wait for my birthday gifts. We entered the airport and Brett called and said they had landed. He asked where we were and I told him we were on the way. I didn't want him to know that we were there already. (He said he figured we were there though because I didn't tell him 'exactly' where we were).

The kids had made signs to welcome him home. Ryan wanted his to be simple, so he drew a yellow jersey, and had me draw a bike. Stupid me, I didn't take pictures of the event.

Ryan spotted Brett far before I did. I'm not sure what I was looking for, but both kids were jumping up and down telling me that they saw Brett on the escalator. I finally caught his eye about two steps before it hit the ground.

Brett hugged the kids and then hugged me. I didn't want to let go. Two weeks is a long time. TOO LONG!

The time away has caused me to reflect a lot on a lot of things.

First of all, I am SO grateful for my relationship with my husband. He is my friend, my confidant, my everything. My nights are not the same without him here. We are a partnership, an equal partnership. Sure, we have disagreements, but they have never been so bad that we couldn't get through it together.

I thought a lot about my brother-in-law Brian. While, I don't want to discount the relationship he has with his wife Ginger, I know he loves her, I thought of how hard it must be not to be able to talk to Azure. I know that I want to talk to her, but she wasn't my wife.

I talked to Brett every day while he was away. I am forever grateful for my iPhone. It is one of the best purchases we have made. Not only did I not get lost in Phoenix because of the GPS on it (that's a huge deal...just ask Brett), I was able to talk to him for FREE EVERY day thanks to Skype, and Vonage. I feel so blessed.

I am grateful that my reunion was only based on a 2 week stay away from the man I love. My heart hurts for those who will have to wait many more weeks, and even years to see those they love. I can only imagine the joy we will feel when the reunion comes. It will be heaven.

Black Canyon Lake

As a kid, I enjoyed going to Black Canyon Lake. It is only 13 miles or so from my mom's house. I really can't believe I didn't bike there, but I didn't.

I thought it would be fun to take the kids, so we took off one afternoon and let them swim in the water. I hadn't been up there since the forest fire had come through several years ago. I was surprised at the devastation. All of the dead trees were once beautiful pines.

Arizona, Week TWO

On Sunday we traveled up the mountain to my mom's house. We were happy to get out of the heat and just relax in the beautiful mountains. I often forget how beautiful it is where I grew up. I don't want to live there full time, but I do enjoy the occasional visit that we are able to make.

One of the reasons I didn't go to Europe with Brett was because I wanted to spend time with my family, more specifically my Grandma Bowers. She is getting up there in age, and we don't know how much longer she'll be around. She has a special place in my heart. I am so glad I was able to spend time with her.


I was able to run while at my mom's. I learned that 7am isn't early enough to get started as the sun is right on top of you at that time and it is hot. So, I started a little earlier the next time around.

Growing up I knew everyone in that small little town, but I quickly realized while I was out running, that I no longer knew anyone that passed by. A lot changes when you are away.