Come What May

Today I share more spiritual enlightenment.

Not my words.

Words from an apostle that has gone home.

You can read it here.

We all have trials. They are almost custom fit for each of us. Custom fit because God will not give us that which we cannot handle.

Sometimes choices affect our lives in the form of consequences. Other times life comes our way and the actions of others affect our lives.

In the wake of it all, we have a loving Father in Heaven always there, willing to listen, and when we are ready to turn it over, He will carry the burden. I'm quite positive of that.

My favorite part of this talk:

"...the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail:

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”

You know what this means????

It is but a SMALL MOMENT.

Come What May....

Code Brown

Today I am going through my journal to see how Ryan's disease affected our every day lives. (It's for my sister, not for me)

I came across an entry that talked about Ryan having the runs, and it brought back a memory.

We would be sitting in the chair - gown, mask, gloves - Ryan would be on our laps and it would happen.

CODE BROWN

There was NEVER a warning.

One time, Ryan was playing in his Exersaucer, thanks Aunt Stefanie for letting us borrow it, it was a life saver.

Anyway.

Here he is happily playing and I hear - slosh, slosh.

I look down and there IT is again.

CODE BROWN

Man. We washed more sheets, gowns, clothes, the exersaucer innards, you name it. All due to our CODE BROWN.

Once we realized that he had become lactose intolerant because of his transplant, the CODE BROWN ceased.

We all lived....happily ever after.

Surgery

The day had finally arrived.

We knew that it was inevitable.

His neck could no longer hold up his head.

Ryan helped with the reconstruction


It wasn't a long process, but necessary no doubt.

Here's our family photo during the recovery period.

A New Way to say I LOVE YOU

These are my toes.

Brett's artwork.

Weekend Weather Report

Whoever said that tornadoes don't touch down in UT very often haven't been to my house.

I'm pretty sure that they touch down EVERY weekend here.

So, here I am. Monday morning, and I'm dealing with the aftermath. Lucky for me - my kids and my husband weren't hurt. We're all in one piece. Well, I'm not really in one piece - I think one can only deal with so many tornadoes before they fall into piece(s).

Here's to holding it together.

Maybe I should put an ad in the newspaper for some serious super glue.

or

Maybe I should have a talk with the weather man. Maybe he could help.

My Husband, My Friend

It's midnight.

I'm sitting in the front room watching Survivor on the computer with Brett.

He's so handsome.

He is in the line of sight for the computer.

So, really I am watching my husband, and Survivor is in the background.

Brett and I have been through a lot with each other. We spent many nights in a hospital room early in our marriage fighting for Ryan's life. We were each other's lifeline. I guess we still are.

Following our fight with Ryan, we supported each other. Together we had another child. A beautiful baby girl.

We parent together, always discussing how we can better our family's relationship, meaning ourselves and our kids. We are responsible for their raising, and our relationship with each other.

We've been misunderstood. Both of us.

That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

I love Brett. I love that he tells it like it is. You never have to guess where he's coming from. You always know, even if you don't want to know :).

He makes me laugh. I've said that before I know, but he does. If I weren't so darned sensitive, I'd laugh a lot more.

I love that Brett gives everything his ALL. He is a great leader for youth. He is a great father. He comes home from work every day, and every day he plays with the kids. He reads with them, gives them baths.

There is never a question as to who will watch the kids if I need to go somewhere. It is a given that he will take the kids, and I know I can trust that they will be well taken care of.

He's my friend. A true friend. I love that.

Deep Thoughts not by Jack Handy....by me

I have a lot on my mind tonight so I'm just going to share it. After all, this is my blog, and I write to express myself. So, there you have it.

- A kid is a loser until it is one of your own. Then he or she is a child that has made some bad choices. I can't get that off my mind. I have thought so much about the kids around the neighborhood that in a previous state of my mind I would have called losers. Heck, I was probably a loser once, but then deep down I was just a young lady who made some super poor choices, needing to be accepted. That's what we all want right? To be accepted.

- I love the spiritual enlightenment given by Elder David Bednar regarding being offended. It is a choice you know. It's hard sometimes not to be offended. I've had my share of experiences, but for sure it is a choice. When we consciously choose NOT to be offended, it's amazing the peace that can be found in our lives.

- Spring is almost here! I can look out my window and see the beautiful orange breasted birds peck at the berries on our flowering pear tree. Dang they make a mess, but man are they beautiful.

- Why is it that some people can just get out on the road and run? I like to think I can do the same but dang it, my hip hurts this week. Makes me want to swear. Of course if I did that I wouldn't feel any better about my hip hurting. I'm pretty sure that swear words don't take away pain.

- I love living where I live. Another view out my window: snow capped mountains. Breathtaking.

- Good friends are extremely hard to come by. A good friend is one that you can pick up where you left off, no matter how long it has been since you have seen them last. I have a few of those. Thanks Erin, Emily,Jolayne, and Danille....to name a few.

- I love my kids. I love that they love each other. Today Sydney hit a milestone. Two whole weeks with only ONE night accident. We rewarded her with HS Musical's Wii game. We've had it for a long time, it's been in the closet. Both Ryan and Sydney sang to their hearts content. It was classic, and they unlocked ALL of the songs. They were so proud.

A Tribute

I would like to pay tribute to one said miracle...

Bone Marrow

Dear Bone Marrow

While you may be taken for granted by some, and not known by others, you are a special lifeline for our family.

Eight years ago, you were harvested from my hip (and ever so painful might I add), modified by sheep's blood, and then infused into my miracle of a son,

You gave us a little scare, but allowed us to trust in God and have faith that you would come through for us.

You have proven that you are accountable. You are accountable for saving a life, and creating cells that build immunity to all of the illnesses that come our way.

You has proven over time that there is joy to be had, and that miracles do happen.

So, on this day of reflection, I say Thank you to the doctors and nurses at Children's Hospital Los Angeles who helped us find you.

I say thank you to those who came before who,through you, paved the way for our family.

I give hope to those who are still fighting the disease of Severe Combined Immunodeficiency Syndrome.

Of course I would be ungrateful if I left out the creator of all things.

So, I Thank our Heavenly Father for allowing us to have Ryan, and for allowing us to learn and grow through the process of a Bone Marrow Transplant.

We have been blessed. There is purpose in life, and whether or not we always feel that way, we know that Ryan has a purpose here and we are ever so grateful that he is in our home.

Happy Birthday Bone Marrow. Happy Birthday.

Fire vs. Water

Fire vs. Water
By Ryan Berger

(Fire and Water are the only people on earth.)

Fire loved France, speaking French and art. Water on the other hand, liked putting out fire in fire land.

One day Fire and Water went on a walk. Then they met on a corner. "Bonjure madamonzelle" exclaimed Fire.

"I'm not a girl you weirdo," yelled Water. "Stop talking or I..." "Will put you out like the others."

Fire got so mad and scared he made more little fire guys and ran to his little home.

Then he thought of an idea. If fire could scare water away into a creek he would be trapped. No that's too hard. So he thought and thought. Then he had an idea! The idea was...To turn into the sun and vaporize him. That was a better idea.

So as usual they met at the corner. So Fire turned into the sun and Water said "Noooo!!! I'm melting!" And in five seconds he was gone. Fire restored everybody in fire land.

The End

50 LB Celebration - Skin n Bones

The other day I heard a "Woo Hoo" coming from the bathroom.

Then I heard a "Hey Mom - I've finally hit 50 lbs"

After which I heard, "I bet it's just muscle."

To which I replied, "I'm sure it is muscle son."

Then I heard - "Yeah, that's the nice thing about skin and bones. When you gain weight, it's just muscle."

To which I thought "Must be nice." (As the top of my muffin is overflowing)

Over or Under

Since it is an unspoken rule around my house that I am the only one that can change out the toilet paper roll, I just thought I'd pose the question...

Does the toilet paper go Over or Under?

If you don't know...

It's UNDER.

Now you know. Don't be scared to change it out. It's really not that hard, and it is much appreciated by most tell-them-how-to-wear-their-pants(ers). (We're called that because we don't wear the pants in the family. We just tell them how to wear them)

Me...on life

I realized the other night that there are MANY jobs in this world that I would NOT like. One would be working in the Lab at a hospital. Yes, I could sort through blood samples to see what, if any, problem there might be. It's the stool samples that I couldn't handle. It's one thing to take care of your own family. You know, changing your own kids' diapers, cleaning up your own child's mess, but others? Nope. Actually, I could probably clean up another person, it's the 'sorting through' that I don't suppose I could stomach.

Yesterday I went on the bicycle maiden voyage of 2009. Ahh, it was nice to get back on the bike. It was a slow ride, -- I was along side Sydney the first time out, and Ryan the next time out.

I wondered while out in the beautiful weather just why life isn't fair.

Why isn't it fair you ask?

Well, when a boy/man rides a bike, his 'package' is protected up front. When a girl/woman rides a bike, she sits right on top of her 'package'. Well, what there is of a package. Thus causing quite an uncomfortable ride, not only on her tail bone, but on ahem...that too. Padding just isn't enough.

So, to you men out there that just get on the bike and ride....

Next time you straddle the saddle, try tucking your tail (you know what I mean) between your legs and have a seat. ride around the block and be thankful that you don't have to ride that way each time you go out.

More installments later....

Noble Women

Today my cup was filled. Sometimes it just seems to dump itself on the counter and spread onto the floor, but today it was refilled.

I went to an Enrichment on temples, and then Cherie Call, an LDS music artist shared her talents. Both women that addressed us were amazing. It was an experience that Cherie spoke of that I would like to dedicate this post.

She talked of a time that she found out that one of her ancestors was on the Mayflower. She wanted to know more about this woman. She wanted to know if she was like her. She talked of how her mother used to iron everything, and how she was NOT going to be like that. Then she found herself ironing her her jeans and t-shirts while in college. When she started asking around, she learned that the women in her family used to iron clothes to make money. So, this ironing had been passed from generation to generation.

As she told her story, I started thinking about the women in my life that I could readily trace back. What was it about me that could be traced back to things that have been done for generations. I haven't talked to anyone, but I can see things that I do in my life that were done by my mom, that were learned by my grandmother. I can only imagine that these things were learned perhaps from my great grandmother.

For example, I learned to cook from my mom and my grandma. I am thankful to each of these women for the skills that they taught me. Both my mom and my grandma sew. I don't suppose I will ever be like my mom or my grandma with my sewing skills. My mom can do anything, but when we were shipped puppets the day before Halloween instead of a Halloween costume, I had to use my sewing skills to make Ryan a Pirate Costume. It wasn't the Jack Sparrow that we had ordered, but Ryan loved it and was proud to say that it was hand made. I attribute this to my mom. It was something she would have done. I wouldn't have been without a costume. Matter of fact, because of a George Washington coat she made for my brother when he was a young boy, I had a Pirate's coat for Jack Sparrow.

I remember bottling vegetables and fruit with my grandma as a kid. This is something that I love to do today. I am so blessed to be able to have these skills.

I have noble women in my family. Women of faith. Women who make something out of nothing to provide for their families. Women that I hope that one day I will be more like.

Thank you Mom and Grandma Bowers for helping to mold me to who I am today.

Angels

It has been said that Angels minister to mortals on earth. Just recently in a conference address Elder Jeffrey R Holland spoke of just that.

He stated that "God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face".

This week I have thought a lot about the Angels that are here. They may be in the form of a smile from someone, even a cashier at a grocery store. They may be in the form of a neighbor looking out for you.

Tonight I experienced an angel in my home. Sydney is very sick. She has fought a fever all day, along with aches and pains. Ryan was her angel. He has been so concerned that she is not ok. I have shared his concern, but the fact that he wants to eat by her bedside to make sure she doesn't get worse shows his angelic nature.

I have felt the Angelic spirit of my sister recently. I haven't been able to get her off my mind for the past couple of days and it makes me weepy. I put the CD of her funeral in and I heard an angel sing. Thank you Jamilyn Slade for your angelic voice. I have always loved it. I remember as a child I just wanted to grow up and sing like Jamilyn. Now I hardly even sing for people.

I remember the day after Azure returned to heaven we were in Sacrament Meeting. I don't know that it was a good idea to go to church that day. I'm not sure we got too much of the messages. I recall Tiffani Martineau leading the music. I don't know that we were fair to her. We couldn't even sing for the abundance of tears that were shed. Thank you Tiffani for being able to get through those songs with us on the front row.

I guess we needed the angels of Heber, AZ that day.

Sometimes it is hard to look around at what is going on and realize that there are angels seen and unseen.

Sydney has not been feeling well for a while. She is having some sort of stomach trouble. I have an appointment for her on Friday to hopefully find out what the problem is. I pray for angels to watch over her. I pray for her doctors that they may use their knowledge to get to the bottom of her ailments....angels.

Parent Projects

I've decided that I'm not a fan of projects that the kids have to do for school.

Today Sydney was supposed to go to school with 100 'things' on her shirt. Goodbye to the baggies of marshmallows, cheerios, etc. Now they want stuff attached to a shirt. Brett's idea was to actually write '100 THINGS' on a piece of paper and attach it to her shirt. Clever. I actually decided that we would make a necklace that has 100 things on it. I read somewhere that some parents were gluing popcorn kernels on shirts, or 100 pennies, etc. My friend had the idea of safety pins on a shirt. I had a bazillion of those, so I decided we would string them on as a necklace. That took much less time than actually 'pinning' them on. Except that when I went to put the necklace on Syd I dropped one end and 1/2 of the pins went scattering so I had to re-string them.

At Christmas the kids were supposed to come to school dressed as elves for elf day. Luckily for me I had some scrap fabric that I could put a little costume together. What do parents do that can't sew? Stimulate the economy?

The school is having a contest tomorrow too. Each grade has a 'theme' for Valentine boxes. Sydney's is Nursery Rhymes, and Ryan's is Simple Machines. I had a bright idea late last night that we could make a Wheel Barrow for Ryan. That is a Simple Machine. He informed me this morning that his teacher told them that if their box looked like a Simple Machine, they wouldn't win, but if it had a Simple Machine 'in' it they might win. I highly doubt we will win. We never do. This is project is more for parents than it is for the kids. It is something that Ryan really wants to do though. He has his vision. I just don't know that I can help him execute it.

I'd like to be in on the "bright idea" meetings that the teachers have so that I can offer a 'parent' perspective. I have two kids. What the heck to people do that have more than two--those that have 4 or 5 or more, all in different grades.

I'm an A/B

Ok, I know what you're thinking....however, I'm not talking about my bra size here. I only wish I was that...

I'm talking about my personality.

I've been reading some running books. I checked 3 out of the library. I always like to get multiple opinions on what I need to be doing. When I read several opinions, I can take what is consistent and usually make it work for me. Consistency usually means that it is more than an opinion - it's usually facts from studies that have been conducted.

Anyway.

All of the books have talked about people with Type A personalities that don't warm-up/cool-down after a run. Hmm, I think I'm a little 'A' here. I've read so much about Type A personalities that I started searching the Internet to see what it was that made a person have a 'Type A' personality. Well, there were quizzes to be taken. So I took one.

I found that I a middle of the packer. I tend to be a middle of the packer in many things. I'm not great, but I'm not at the bottom of the totem either.

Now you know. I'm an A/B trying to become more of a B when it comes to warm-ups and cool-downs so that I don't pay my physical therapists next mortgage.

Blessed

I have been so blessed to have a good family.

Tonight I made stew for dinner. Actually it was more like lunch as we get out of church at 12pm and we ate around 2:30.

We went to a meeting at the church and when we got home I had some leftovers. They were so good. I was reminded of the stew that my grandma would make when my parents were building their house. It would be cold outside and grandma would make a pot of stew and come cornbread.

I was taken back to a time in my life that I cherish the memory of.

Grandma and Grandpa Bowers were living in our small town helping build our new home, the home my parents still live in.

I remember staying with them.

On fast Sunday, they often wouldn't eat until 10pm because they had worked so hard the day before and had eaten at 10pm then and they were observing a 24-hour fast. I was always impressed by that.

Grandma could make anything. I remember well taking baths in their home and having a little net bag full of small pieces of soap. I loved that. Looking back now I realize that she was just using it up. Frugal.

Grandpa Bowers like his eggs the way I do. Scrambled soft.

I miss him. He was such a fun grandpa.

I am thankful to be a part of such a family.

I'm Blessed.

Shavin'

I made my goal of 15 miles this week. I had to run 6 on Friday so that I could get them all in because I knew that I wouldn't have time Saturday, and I spent 2 hours at the dentist on Thursday with Sydney so I couldn't go then.

When I ran into the yard I looked down at my running application on my phone and it said 6 miles - 9:34 min/mi. Whoo Hoo.

I'm gonna keep on shavin' that time off.

8:30 min/mile - here we come.

A Fraction

This morning I cleaned out Ryan's backpack and found an assignment that he completed at school on fractions.

The top reads "My Family"

He drew a picture of all of us. I think my shoulders have been dislocated/hyper extended, something...

Anyway, here is how our family ranks in the mind of my son.

1/4 - has no fat (I'm not sure if I should be offended on this one.)

4/4 - love playing the Wii

1/4 - like cleaning the house (Is this me? He's SORELY mistaken if I am the numerator here.)

2/4 - like guitar hero (The other 2 just have no rhythm, thus we get booed off the stage and are not allowed to continue - Poor me. Poor Sydney.)

2/4 - like legos

1/2 - are girls

There you have it - just a fraction

I'm back

Last week Brett and I went to the temple. As I was getting ready, I slipped on a skirt and realized that my midsection had grown slightly. Knowing that I couldn't be pregnant (thank heavens), I came to the realization once again that my laziness had caused this growth.

I'm great at doing EVERYTHING for everyone else and using that as my excuse to not walk out the door and exercise for myself.

Brett has been bugging me to do the Salem Triathlon again this year.

I have ignored him.

Well, my little skirt incident made me decide that I really did need to have something to work for. (I know Brett, you've been telling me that for weeks...I just needed it to be my own idea :).

So, I broke it to Brett on Thursday that I would in fact sign up for the race.

He smiled.

He knows me.

On Friday, I decided that I needed to just clean the house. After all, we did have a tornado plow through our residence.

At about 10:15 I sat down to the computer to read blogs and saw a post on a blog that I belong to. The post was about a mom, a mom like me, that went running 7 miles. The first 2 1/2 miles were hard for her, and then she said after that it felt good. I looked at the clock and decided that it was time that I get off my butt and get out there.

So, I got dressed and ran just over 3 miles. My time was just under a 10 minute mile. I reasoned that I was allowed a turtle pace. I hadn't been running for at least 2 months, maybe 3.

It felt good. So good that I went back out on Saturday, and again on Monday. I have to go tutor a boy at the school today for a while, but then I'm going to go back out today.

My goal for this week - 15 miles.

I'll shoot for the same goal next week. Then I'll increase my mileage, and hopefully by June when I run the Ragnar Relay with my cousins, I'll not be the slowest on the team.

I'm back. It feels good.