Summoned By The East - Day Two, Salem

I remember being fascinated by the story of the Salem Witch Trials when I was a kid. Never in a million years did I ever think that I might possibly be able to walk the grounds of this very interesting town.

But, as luck would have it, we were only 30 minutes away so on day two of our trip, I ventured out alone to Salem, MA.

I made it there without incident. I went straight to the Salem Witch Museum, and lucky me, I arrived two days after the main season ended for many attractions, but just in time to have a personal tour of the museum. I watched a 20-30 minute presentation of the hysteria of the days back in 1692. What a heartbreaking story. -- Girls being accused of possessing others through the devil and being hanged for it. --Men also being tried and convicted and either hanged, or pressed to death with heavy boulders.





It was said that if you could recite the Lord's prayer without mistake that you were free. A man with a noose around his neck did just that and he was accused of having Satan help him. He died anyway.

Many were put in jail for many years for the accusations. They even incarcerated a 4-year old little girl and chained her to a wall.

I loved my day in Salem. I visited the memorial created for these victims. It is a solemn reminder of what so wrongly happened to them.

I took pictures of the cemetery,


and of Samantha from Bewitched.


And then...

I took a small street and there I was...at the Salem harbor, or as they say in Salem - H-ah-bor. Seriously, I think I need to live on a boat in the harbor.

Summoned By The East

I'm going to go out on a limb here and betray the mountains that surround me, and just say that the East Coast summons my name. Really.

I had the amazing opportunity to accompany Brett on a trip to the beautiful state of Massachusetts.

He was on business.

I was on vacation.

...a much needed vacation.

We arrived on Sunday October 31st late in the evening. By the time we made it to our hotel it was after midnight, and we were both exhausted. So much so that neither of us could relax and go to sleep. We watched TV, and learned at 6am that morning that we must have been too loud for our neighbor because he started banging his dishes in his room, a sound that we wouldn't hear that early for the rest of the week. Sorry neighbor - and oh yea, just so you know, cooking bacon in your hotel room microwave is a HORRIBLE thing to do to your neighbors. I didn't think we were that bad of neighbors. We were gone all day every day, and even most of the evenings every evening.

Curse you hotel neighbor.

There. I said it.

On Monday, Brett went in to the office and I spent the day in the hotel room reading about all of the American history that I had forgotten from 5th grade. We were in the heart of the Revolutionary war country. I needed to know where I should spend my time vacationing while Brett slaved away at work :).

After work, we went to the Boston temple to take pictures. We would have gone in, but it's closed on Monday.

We had the grounds to ourselves.

Azure Skies

(You just have to be one of us to get it...)

The sun began to peek over the mountain and the sky seemed faded in the distance. All around me the colors of the season seemed to beckon my name -- They too were fading.

I entered the freeway hoping, praying. I was headed to a place where peace instills itself into one's soul. A place where the bonds of this life extend themselves into the eternities. I needed that peace today. I needed the assurance that this life really is just a test.

I am sometimes overcome by jealousy. Jealousy that some have met the requirements they are supposed to meet, and their journey is through. No more aches. No more pains. No more broken hearts from the hurtful things that are said by those who just. don't. get it. That jealousy is often rebuked when I realize that my children need me.

They need their mother.

My husband needs his wife.

As I allowed myself to be encompassed by the beautiful blue sky of today, my thoughts turned once again to my sister. She left this earth life three years ago today.

I remember everything about that day.

I spent the day reading a book. A book about a young family. A father, a mother, and a young baby. The mother died, and the book took me through the father's grief. I imagined Brian and Azure. They were just like this young family and I thought that this story would be theirs if anything ever happened to her.

I was interrupted by a phone call from Azure. She was just calling to tell me she loved me. A simple act, that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Her phone dropped the call and I had a crazy thought... "that would suck if that is the last time I talk to her." I replaced that thought with "Oh, she's just in a place where she no longer has coverage..."

Within minutes of finishing the book, I received a phone call from my mom. Azure had been in an accident. I immediately blamed myself. I was the one on the phone with her. Was I was the one that had distracted her while driving? Did someone hit her because she was talking to me? My mom told me that it was a single car accident, and that things didn't look good.
Ok, so she wasn't hit, but was it me?

I began looking for flights. The plan was that I would fly to Phoenix and ride with Ben to Flagstaff. She was being flown to Flagstaff. I pulled out a suitcase and contemplated what to pack. I was buying a one way ticket. I may be there for days, weeks. Would I have the opportunity to go to church? Was I flying to a funeral? Either way, I needed a dress. I packed a few things and we made arrangements for the kids.

My flight was leaving in 2 hours. I was running out of time.

Our trip to Salt Lake was surreal.
I had hope that I would get a phone call that told me she was going to be fine.

Deep down, I knew better.

As I entered the double doors of the Salt Lake City airport, my phone rang. It was my brother. Right then I knew. He asked me if I had heard from my parents. I had not.
He broke down and told me that she had passed away.

I couldn't stop crying. I didn't sob uncontrollably. I was in public.
However, the tears wouldn't stop.

The security guard asked me if I was ok. I told him as nicely as I could that no, my sister had just passed away. He said "I'm sorry sweetie, but at least we know she is in a better place."

I wanted to slap him.

How could she be in a better place? How could leaving a 5 1/2 month old baby be better than staying to raise him?

Tears streamed down my face as I entered what they call the "friendly skies". I spent the longest hour and a half on a plane in what we often refer to as "heaven."

Where was she? How bad did she look? What were her last moments like?





My brother picked me up from the airport. I reeked. I could smell myself. I had no control over the sweat that had decided to take up shop in my shirt. Ben kindly stopped at a store 1/2 way home and picked up a car freshener. I tease him about it, but I don't blame him. Heck, I could smell myself. I can only imagine what it was doing to him.

We stopped at the grocery store and picked up plates, and drinks, and who knows what else before we headed up the mountain.

As we entered Azure's house, we were greeted by family. People were everywhere. I went into the restroom and I lost it. The sobbing had come, and it was there to stay for a brief moment. I allowed it to just take over. I was in her home for the first time and she wasn't there to show me. She had been so proud of her new house, and she wasn't even the one that was able to show me.

As I go back over those events today, I am thankful for the name my parents chose for her. Azure.

A beautiful blue.

A color of the sky.

She is in those skies. Those Azure skies.


(Brett snapped this photo the day after her funeral. It pulls at my heart.)

Birthday Surprise

* a note from me: I hate surprises. HATE them. I don't think anything causes more anxiety for me than a surprise. It's the fear of the unknown, and I hate the unknown.

Brett decided that he needed to surprise me for my birthday and take me away to the Snowbird ski resort for the weekend.


It was hard for me to go because I knew that my family would be honoring the life of Desmon, and I wasn't going to be there. On the flip side though, it was wonderful to be able to get away without having to worry about the kids and to just relax. We attempted to sleep in, but we were both awake by 7:00 am. Oh well, we tried.

Ahh, the memories...

The View from our room

In the Mountain Tunnel

(There is a tunnel that goes completely through the mountain. It was amazing)

Climbing the rock wall. I hated it.

The Ropes Course

View from the ski lift


On my way to the Alpine Slide


The beautiful vote from 11,000 feet
Stunning


Thanks Brett!

September Rain

I have always loved the turn of seasons. It doesn't matter what season it is, I love the change in the weather pattern. Different temperatures are somehow magical.

This year however, the joy of the changing season has been overshadowed by all of the events that have filled my days. From service to sickness, to the death of an angel, September has been full of rain.

I was asked today what I have done this month. It is all a blur. In an effort to not be completely negative, here are the highlights.

- September 5th - Made a mad dash trip to AZ, and returned on September 7th. We didn't get any of the pictures we went down there for, but here are a few that we did get.

(Taya, smile for Aunt Deni)

- September 8th - Arrived at Camp Maple Dell to set up for a Wood Badge training (BSA Adult training)
- September 11th - Came home for the weekend sick as a dog so I spent the next few days in bed.
- September 15th - Arrived back at Camp Maple Dell feeling better, but still not 100%
- September 18th - Came home at the end of the Wood Badge training, and slept - still didn't feel well.
- September 20th - Desmon went to heaven - we will miss her!


- September 24th - I went to lunch with Martha, and Brett surprised my by taking me to Snowbird Ski resort. (More on that to follow)

- September 27th - Did my visiting teaching

- September 28th - Celebrated my 33rd birthday by doing yard work with Brett, laying sod in a neighbor's yard, and watching a comedy show. It was a good day.

Welcome October, I'm sick of the rain.

A Heavy Heart

Today my heart is heavy.

My thoughts have overwhelmed me for quite some time now. So much has been going on around here that there are times I wonder when the point of breakdown will surface. I have been heartbroken. I have felt betrayed. I have wondered if the service that my husband and I render to others will ever be appreciated by some.

Life is interesting with all of its adventures and trials. I crave the companionship of laughter at every turn, for laughter is what rises me above the darkness.

For the past two weeks I have spent most of my time at as a staff member of a Wood Badge course. I had spent a lot of time preparing for this course and the first day into it I came down with a horrible sore throat that turned itself into a horrible cold. I was given a priesthood blessing by our course director, and I was grateful for the faith of the members that were present.

I witnessed miracles as I was able to preform my duties, only to have my body give out at the end of the day when there was nothing else expected of me.

I have met people who have touched my life, and I have been reminded why scouting is a movement that is needed in the world today. We all need young men who pledge their honor to do their duty to God.

When I was gone from my family, my thoughts often turned to my children. I wondered what they would do if I didn't return home to them. Had I told them I loved them enough? Had I taught them enough of Jesus Christ? Did they know that the greatest things in life aren't things? I went over and over in my mind the details of their faces. The softness of their skin. The looks on their faces as I hugged them one last time before getting in the car to drive back up the mountain. As a mother, was I doing enough?

I am home now and the gratitude I have for my husband fills my heavy heart and lightens my load. I have spent the past several hours in bed. My body has given out and I am resting to rid myself of these ailments. Brett is still carrying the load of the house work...dinner, dishes, laundry, getting kids off to church. I am grateful for him. I need him in my life.

I am also grateful for the chance to have a heavy heart from time to time. These feelings have turned me to the words of past prophets. Omni, a prophet in the Book of Mormon gave me an invitation that I have readily accepted. He said "And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel , and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him, and continue in fasting and praying and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved."

Ultimately, it is Christ who, having suffered all, can lift me from my own suffering. It is He to whom I owe my gratitude the most.

Back to School

Last week my kids went back to school. I'm not a fan of ending summer days. I love having my kids home with me. I have missed them terribly this past week as they have gone off to school.

Ryan is in 5th grade

Sydney is in 2nd grade

For the past few nights I have put Sydney to bed. Last night we lay next to each other and read a new book she got from a friend for her birthday. Sydney has never been one to just listen to a book that doesn't have pictures. I hope this is a dawn of a new day that she will grasp the wonderful world of literature.

Last night Sydney snuggled in close to me after we were finished reading, her body curved into mine. She grabbed my arm and lay it over her and then asked how I could move my arm without her noticing when I leave. I told her it's because she's asleep. She then drifted off to sleep, and I drifted... off... with... her.

Pick 4

On Sunday Brett told each of the kids to go out to the garden and pick 4 carrots. Ryan hit the jackpot. He got a 4-in-1

Oh What Do you Do in the Summertime?

We've had a busy summer this year.

We began with swimming lessons (I failed to get pictures).

Then we ran for Desmon. Actually, the "we" was Ryan and Sydney. I'm proud of them for running a mile and for supporting a great cause. You can support the cause too by going to www.teamdcoy.com. Your money will support a family with great medical needs.

Next up, a surprise party for Martha. She is now 75 and one of my most favorite neighbors. (She was one of my favorite neighbors before she was 75 too).

We played a little baseball in the back yard on Father's Day and Sydney is trying to show her magic skills by hitting the ball with her eyes closed. She's still working on that skill.



Girls wouldn't be girls without a little dress up.


We went on a very fun, very relaxing, much needed camping get away.


July brought a surprise trip from our cousins. We were SO happy to have them here.


Sydney celebrated her 7th birthday. Actually, we all celebrated Sydney's birthday.


We enjoyed another yearly trip to Lagoon courtesy of Novell. Our cousins got to experience that with us.


We've harvested from our garden.


We got to spend more time with new cousins, and finally pick our peaches from our tree.


Brett and I rode in a century bike ride - My first, his second.

Ryan celebrated his 10th birthday. Where has the time gone?

Happy Summer. School starts next week. I will miss my kids, but my days of having 6 hours of freedom are upon me...hmmm what to do, what to do.

107 Miles to Somewhere

Last weekend Brett and I rode together in the ULCER (Utah Lake Century Epic Ride).

This was my first century.



Up until this day, I had only ridden 81 miles and we ended up riding 107.4.

Our day started out with very little sleep. Normally that happens because I am anxious about the ride, but this time I received a call from a neighbor at 12:45am and I ended up helping her in her home until just after 2am.

If you wonder what you do at that time of night while helping someone -- I'll tell you-- you name their barf buckets.

We named hers "Buddy".

Fitting I think.

"Please pass me Buddy."

"I need to puke, where's my Buddy?"

"Everyone needs a Buddy."


--------------------


So, after getting approx 3 hours of sleep, we got up and prepared to leave for the race.

Breakfast consisted of oatmeal with honey, cinnamon, and almonds...mmm. I also took a banana, but was too full to eat it.

We arrived in Lehi just a few minutes before our scheduled departure of 6:55am. We used the restroom, spoke to a few of Brett's co-workers and we were off.

We had a friend about 3 miles into the ride that was out taking pictures. Brett started with me, but then stopped and waited for his co-workers so they could work together as they all wore matching 'kits'.

I wore the wrong 'kit'.

Pink and gray shirt that showed my muffin top.

Did you know that you can still have a fat gut after training for such an event? Well, you can and I have the pictures to prove it.




The idea was that Brett would ride with his groupies for a while and catch me in a few miles.

Well, of course this presented a challenge for me and I decided that I needed to show these said 'groupies' that I could ride solo if needed. So, while Brett thought he would catch me at mile 5 or possibly even 10, he actually caught me at mile 26, at the rest stop. - GO ME!

There was a terrible accident at about mile 10. The lady reminded me of what I must've looked like with my face planted in the pavement. It was awful.

Anyway, the ride was six hours, so of course I have six hours of material to share. That would make for a terribly long post though so I'll just say that I learned a few things on this ride.

1. It is much easier to ride with a group than it is to ride alone.
2. Hot headwinds are a terrible companion on any ride, especially at mile 60.
3. Meeting up with your kids 1/2 way through is motivation to finish anything. (Thanks Terry for bringing them to see us).


4. Having your seat adjusted to fit your height sure makes for an easier ride. (Thanks stranger for suggesting I fix my seat)
5. I'm super impressed with Bonneville Cycling for putting on such an amazingly supported race. The food and support at the rest stops was unbelievable.
6. I like long rides. They make me want to GLOAT (see my Facebook status for further gloating)
7. Riding with Brett makes everything better. I'm grateful he didn't listen to me and he actually rode with me through the majority of the ride. We needed each other many times that day.
8. There are as many stupid cyclists out there as there are motorists. Get it together people!! If we're going to make a name for ourselves, make a good name!
9. I like looking at my Garmin and seeing that I have burned over 5000 calories in a day
10. I'll do it again.

Thanks 107 miles to Somewhere for a great day.