Time Stamped

As I try to wrap my feelings around themselves and jot them down, my emotions take me in multiple directions and I can hardly decipher what it is that my heart needs to say.

This week is 'Azure' week, as dubbed by a friend. I think it fits. Azure week. I feel like each day I should be doing something, kind of like at school when it is 'Mustang' week, or whatever your mascot may be. We are mustangs, which ironically is the same mascot that I was as a child.

I feel like I should down some Dr. Pepper, but I don't drink carbonation, so I will just do it in spirit. A toast to Razz. Razz is what I called her. Razzle, Dazzle, Daisy -- Razz for short.

Each year I want to share something new,  a newness to the story that I haven't shared before. If I share something new, someone might be touched, and know just how much I loved her. The thing is, there isn't much that I haven't shared, so today I will open my heart one more time, and possibly share a duplicate story.

Azure lived with us for several months. She brought joy into our home, but she also drove me crazy. I caught her drinking out of the milk jug. Who does that? She did, and it was no big deal to her. You have to understand, we are germies at our house. You don't drink out of the milk jug, or the apple juice jug, or the 2-liter bottle, unless you are chugging the very last drops. That is unless you are Azure, and then you drink out of the jug whenever you want to and it is ok.

Azure loved the Little Rascals. She taught Ryan 'the sign'. She would ask him "What's your sign" and he would give it to her.

Ryan made funny noises when he wanted milk, and she LOVED it. She would laugh as if it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. When we finally went to get it on video, he stopped with those noises. She was devastated. I think she almost blamed me for wanting to get it on video.

The day Azure passed from this life is a day I will never forget. The events of the day repeat in my mind from time to time. My phone log from the day showed 1:07pm MST as the end of my phone call with her. Her very last words on this earth, to me, to any one of us at 1:07pm.

We received a journal entry from a friend who was there. She recalled pulling out onto the highway and seeing the car roll at 12:07pm Arizona time. The exact same time. I can't help but feel like there is significance to that time. I have mulled it over in my mind time and time again. Even if our clocks were slightly off of each other it is hard to believe that we both recorded that time. I believe her passing was time stamped.