And When I Doubt...

During my sister's funeral, a song was sung with the lyrics that said "...and when I doubt, there are things in life I just can't figure out, I trust that God is in control, and I hold on to the things I know."

I have had a lot of opportunities recently to reflect on the direction I have taken for my life. Either I am following the principles that God would want me to follow, or I am wasting my life away and I should be 'enjoying' things that I choose not to be a part of me.

All of my choices have consequences. My choice not to consume certain substances allows me to enter the temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a place that I believe is the home of our Heavenly Father. That choice also allows me to be able to have a clear mind in an otherwise cloudy world. If my anxiety flairs, I run or I bike, or most importantly, I get on my knees and I pray. I do this to clear my head, and through that outlet, I am still able to make clear choices. Nothing has altered my mind in a way that will cause me to make an unwise choice, resulting in a tragic consequence.

My choice to raise my children in an organized religion allows me to reflect often on my Savior, Jesus Christ. We are aiming to become like Him. Jesus Christ's life was one of service. He was about His Father's business. I aim to do the same. These choices have the consequence of constant peace. I need that peace.

I have chosen to believe the story of a young 14-year old boy who wanted to know which organized religion was true. He read in the bible in James 1:5 - ^aIf any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."  He then took that challenge and went into a grove of trees, resulting in an answer that I believe we all wish we could receive. He had the privilege of seeing our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. From this visit, the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored to the earth, the same gospel that was on the earth in ancient times. This gospel consisted of apostles, prophets, evangelists, teachers. This same gospel is here on the earth today.


During a lesson on eternal marriage, the thought was presented like this - If we are truly eternal beings, if there truly is eternity, why then would there not be eternal marriage? I believe in eternal marriage. My husband, and my children are sealed to me for time and all eternity by way of the Holy Priesthood which has been restored to the earth today. I live my life in accordance to receive the sealing power of the Holy Spirit. This sealing power can be ours if we live for it.


I know God lives. I know he loves me. I knows He hears and answers my prayers. I know that Jesus Christ gave His life for me and for you. I know that you can have the same knowledge that I have if you ask in sincere prayer.

So, when I doubt there are things in life I just can't figure out, I trust that God is in control, 

and I hold on to the things I know.