Raising a Man

Last year I read an article about a mom who watched her son become a man over the summer. Her husband had a plan that their son would build a fence around their property that was several acres. Every day the boy would get up early and go and dig fence posts. Every day he would come in complaining and exhausted. This mom protested! Her husband was overworking her precious baby. As time went on, the complaining and protesting ceased -- it was to no avail. The husband knew what he had in mind, and nothing was going to change his plan for his son. As the summer came to an end the project of digging fence posts came near completion. The conversations at the dinner table changed. What was once feared as breaking the child labor laws of this country was now a sense of pride for one young man. Plans were made between dad and son to line the fence posts with wire to complete the project. This mother saw what her husband's plan had been all along. Her young baby boy was now a man, and he became a man by learning how to work.

Oh how I loved this article. Oh how I had my own plans of turning my young son into a man! This summer I vowed to make sure our yard was void of weeds. Ryan's job was going to be to keep up with the never-ending mess that our yard has become. As the summer wore on I failed miserably. I wasn't ready to take his childhood away, so instead I resented the yard and let it go. Week after week the weeds grew. Week after week I watched as my son mowed the lawns of neighbors to earn extra money, and I let it go. "Forgive me for my shortcomings," I would pray. "Please help me in some way to teach Ryan about becoming a man without taking his childhood," I pleaded. Little did I know that what was coming would ultimately turn my son into a man.

Sometimes our prayers are answered in ways that we don't fully understand. This past August when Ryan was diagnosed with his lung disease our world was turned upside down. Just as the axis tilts in a favorable direction, we topple over and start again. I have questioned, "Why Ryan?" What is it that I am supposed to learn from this? What is it that Ryan is supposed to learn?

Yesterday I had the opportunity of sitting in on a conversation that Ryan had with a special man. The question was posed "What is it that makes you come to me at this time of your life? You are only 13." Ryan sat there for a minute and with tears streaming down his face he said "Well, I've had to begin some medication and the diagnosis has made me think of what my Heavenly Father's plan is for me, so I've come to you." This Sunday Ryan will have the privilege of receiving his Patriarchal blessing. This is a sacred time for him and for our family. Over the past 2 months I have watched as Ryan has gotten up at 5:57am and read his scriptures, written in his journal, and practiced his piano. I have watched him walk out of the school grinning from ear to ear and letting me know just how happy he is, when by all other accounts he should not be happy.

I don't need my son to pull weeds in my yard over an entire summer. This trial we are facing is sometimes more that I can bear, but my Heavenly Father knew just what I needed and He knew better than I how to raise a man.